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What do u do when ur new boyfriend still has ties to his ex girl's son (not his)?


he was there when the child was born because he broke up with her, she got pregnant and when they got back together, she was 6 months pregnant...so he basically played father to this lil boy because his real father wanted nothing to do with the boy, she was just a fling...so now they have been broken up since last summer n now we are together...he has a 5 yr old of his own and I have a 3 yr old....but he still says he has ties to this other lil boy (his ex's son) and he explained the situation to me....the child is NOT his (he is a dark skinned black man and the kid looks puertorican and mom is a brown skinned black girl)he is 2 yrs old....I feel akward knowing about this and being with him would consist of me having to accept that he might still want to be in this boy's life..... I understand he has his own biological son but this other one...i'm not really sure about.... there's nothing I can do but accept, right??

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Divalish

Asked by Divalish at 1:37 AM on Apr. 9, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • I think he's a good man to have that kind of love for a boy who is now his own. I think you can appreciate that. View it as if it WAS his son. If you have a chance, get to know the little boy and love him, too. Your SO is the only dad he knows, I'm guessing?
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:39 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • At least he isn't just dropping out of this boy's life like so many men would do. I would be happy that I had such a good man. I would be proud of the fact that my man was man enough to stick around even if the kid wasn't his.

    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 1:58 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Wouldn't you expect your boyfriend to love your child like his own one day? He was with the mom, watched this child come into the world and loves him like his own. You need to get over your issues with the ex (because be honest, that is what this is about) and let him continue to be a father to the child.
    FL2AK

    Answer by FL2AK at 2:06 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • My fiance has "step kids" from his first marriage that he is still Dad to even tho they are not bio logically his and his ex wife has remarried and had yet another child. I am proud of him for remaining such a big part of their life and being the father figure they so desperately need and needed. I did more than accept... I loved him even more for being an amazing human being and taking on the commitment of kids that are not his, for life, when he married their mother.
    Love him even more, be proud that you made a great choice of man to be a father figure in your childs life, and smile because he brought that goodness to your life.
    lildudesmomma

    Answer by lildudesmomma at 6:46 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Just because he's not a perfect mix of moms and dads color doesnt mean the child isnt his.
    I think he sounds like a great guy.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 8:39 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

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