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my mother is ruining my reputation!!

dear everyone on here my mother is being a big pain again. my husband an i got married almost 2 years ago an now i am 3 months pg with our first child. my mother has never liked my husband since i met him when i was 14 an now we are 26. she has been telling everyone that the only reason we got married is because i was pg before we got married then i lost it after we got married an now we are pg again. people where i live are very religious about this kind of thing an are now believeing her an looking down on my husband an i...what can i do??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:57 AM on Apr. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Hold your heads up high and keep stepping. THE TRUTH NEEDS NO DEFENSE! Such issues would normally be brought up in front of the congregation, assuming you attend church. If not, then it's merely gossip. Please remember: Treat gossip like it's a parasite. Don't feed into it or allow yourself to be fed off (or terrorized) by it.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 7:07 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • What do you think your mother would say if you confronted her? I mean, she obviously must know that it's a lie. I might think about telling her that if doesn't clear things up then you and your husband are going to move to the next county and she'll be lucky to see her grandchild on Holidays. Tell her you're not trying to be petty, but it is serious when a child grows up in a place where people are looking down on her family. Let her decide what is more important to her, and if she refuses or denies it then start taking some serious steps towards movie... Look for jobs in another county, take weekend trips to view neighborhoods, and check the local real estate adds.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:31 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Well in most states, if you tell her that you want her to stop and she continues, you can sue her for defamation and slander. That would clear your name in the community and out her for the petty bitch she sounds like.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 8:32 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • quit talking to her. My step mom did the same thing to me. She has told all her side of the family that i slept with this person and that person....blah blah blah. My brother came to me and said "you better call everyone and fix this because she has ruined your reputation" I just told him that i'm a grown ass woman now and i'm not in high school..i'm married, and i don't need to worry about somebody ruining some silly reputation...I don't have one!!!
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:45 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • well, here's what I was always told when certain people thought bad of you.
    anyone that doesn't like you is not someone you would want to spend time or effort on. Do you think that it would have been wrong to have been pregnant before you married? if no, then people that look down on you for it are not worth your effort.

    I know that sort of thing can be hard to live around- if she's causing damage such as finding jobs or costing business, then I'd make a legal move on it. if you absolutely can't, I'd consider moving.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Stand up straight and recognized that there is probably at least one other sentient human in the world who can see through your mother's bizarre behavior.

    Don't argue. Don't canvass the neighborhood to convince them of your rightness or your truth or your position --it will come off as being paranoid, or trying to cover something up. Ignore gossip, and when it's not about you but shared with you make it clear that you despise it and will not sit silently by while ANYONE is assassinated socially.

    You can't stop easily-influenced people from being swayed by her lies anymore than she can convince smart people that you're a moral zero.

    Let your behavior rule your reputation and people will come to see you as respectable a person as you behave.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:54 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

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