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What would you do?

What do you do when your child (11) refuses to do a chore and says "I'm not doing it and you can't make me". He's right I can't make him but what should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Apr. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • tell him that you can make him go to his room. that you can take away his privledges....etc.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:24 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Take away t.v., video games, hanging out with friends, etc until he learns that being apart of a family and living in your household requires teamwork from everyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Hmmm, no tv, no video games, no computer, (pick them up from school and drop them off), no social life,... I could go on. Then for every day there is no cooperation, there should be a list of things they have to do to get each privilege back. They have to do this to get the computer back, this to get the tv back, etc.... You could actually make them do chores to pay for their "rent" of living at home. Depends on how hardcore you want to get. They are very stubborn and you need to find out what is important to them and use it. They are testing you to see if what you say is what you mean. Do it now or you are really going to have your hands full when they get older.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Agreed. No extras, no privileges, nothing but the bare minimum.

    No going out to hang out with friends, just school and then home. No tv, no computer except for homework, no video games etc...

    I would go as far as not doing his laundry for him either. You don't HAVE to and he can't MAKE you. See how much he likes being the smelly kid in class.

    Anon is right, being a family does require teamwork from everyone.
    If he doesn't want to be part of the team then he doesn't get any of the benefits.
    Tough love.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 11:32 AM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Wow, I always find it so amazing how many people genuinely dislike their own children.

    Teamwork is not built on violence, coercion, bribery or threats --it's built on trust. People who trust other people don't abuse their property, dictate the terms of the relationships or strip the joy from their lives. That is what that's for, right: no joy in your life until you do what I think you should do when I think you should do it. Control, command, coerce as you wish and sit back waiting for the resistance, rebellion and revolution at your leisure.

    People do not 'learn' anything of value from harsh treatment. They learn to treat other people harshly, and to abuse power every instance they get any. Like when they're caring for their frail, frustrating, disobedient elderly parents. How you treat your son this year will be how he treats you when you're 82. Plan your time accordingly.

    Or try being genuinely respectful.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:55 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Lindaclement
    Who said I was abusing my child by trying to get him to do a chore. Don't you think it's disrespectful to say what he said? What on God's green earth does it have to do w/how he will treat me at 82. That's plain weird. Do you know you are a parent or is your child parenting you?????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • OOh, this is fun. Your child will ask you for something, eventually, and that's when you can give that same answer right back. Then, explain how it works. If he chooses to take a crappy attitude, he will be treated with one as well.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 4:48 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

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