Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

for those that were abused-

I hear so often that people should 'mind their own business' when it comes to what people do with their kids.

So, those that were abused- (assuming this was the case with you)how many of you are glad that so many people just 'minded their own business' or just 'put their trust in the parents to do what is right for their children?'

what makes so many think that all parents are interested in doing the right thing for children?

Or has anyone considered that parents may have been abused themselves? many who have been abused come out of it with a distorted view of punishment.

So those that were abused, do you think that 'minding your own business is the right way to go?'

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Apr. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • well... define abuse.... I don't believe that using hot sauce or soap on a child's tongue when they talk back repeatedly is abuse... others disagree.

    At last count I had 23 breaks and fractures that were never treated, that were inflicted by my father from the ages of 3 to 17- Last MRI I had showed a lot of things.... A lot. I could still technically press charges. I was kicked, punched, thrown down stairs, beaten with a belt buckle, rose whips, shaken (caused permanent brain damage, and is why I have migraines, and seizures) to the point of unconsciousness, locked in my room for days on end, denied food... THAT my friend, is abuse. And my parents were 'Good christians" so they were just doing what the bible said- Never once did a single soul lift a finger to help me, even when I screamed and cried for help. I was beaten at church for saying I was abused... So, I don't look the other way.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:34 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • No, it's never a good idea to mind your own business. However, that doesn't make you the proper authority to get in the middle of it. If you see something going on that should NOT be going on you need to report it. BUT don't stop there!!! If you don't see that anyone has come to investigate or interview then you need to follow up. Be VERY persistant. The more you act the more chances a child has to get out of the situtation they are in. If calling the welfare offices aren't working, take a visit to the local police department. Let them know you have called the proper chain but nothing is being done...see if you have any right to get a 'welfare check' done on the home. That gives the police full range to check the home as if they had a warrant.
    CrazyKiss

    Answer by CrazyKiss at 1:36 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • well... define abuse.... I don't believe that using hot sauce or soap on a child's tongue when they talk back repeatedly is abuse... others disagree.

    I heard (might not be true) that it is illegal to put soap in their mouth, hot sauce is fine but soap isn't food so big no-no.
    But I agree. That's what I thought when people were trying to justify smoking in the car with their kids using the excuse "It's my car and I can do whatever I want." Hmmm.... okay!
    jenae_gist

    Answer by jenae_gist at 1:42 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • No, it is not illegal unless you are forcing it to be consumed, as in FEEDING IT to the children... She talks back, I dab the tip of my finger on the dawn, that is that.

    Oh, and there are several states in which it ts illegal to smoke in a car with children... pushing for no smoking in the home either. But that is unlikely to pass. I consider smoking in the presence of children, who do not have a filter, locked in a small enclosure, abuse. And I smoked for 12 years... was so OCD about not doing it around them, I dare someone to EVER ask me if they can light up in my home!
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:52 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I was abused. No one helped and they knew about it. I wish someone would have snatched me up and took me away. It is why I ran away twice. No because I was a brat, but, because I was getting hit for nothing and threatened with death.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:03 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Sometimes minding your own business is the way to go. Sometimes it is just a difference in opinion. Like some say spanking is abuse and others don't. On something as vague as that (as long it was just a spanking and not a beating) I say mind your own business. However, when it comes to move serious things than I say speak up.

    And I was abused as a child but I have no physical scars. I was emotionally abused. You cannot see my scars. So no one believed me when I cried for help.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 2:25 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • i was abused and people minding their own business had nothing to do with it. it wasnt a situation where people knew anything really...it was sexual abuse.

    i think that if you really think that there is someone endangering a child, call and help them, but if its just you think they seemed a little more strict or stern than what you would have been - mind your own business...its a really hard thing to judge.

    and as a previous poster said, you cannot see my scars. you never saw bruises on me. by the time i said anything it had been stopped for a year and i never pressed charges....i was 16 when it all stopped....and 17 when i told my mom.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 2:39 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I was abused every way you could imagine. Even landed me in the hospital due to dehydration and malnutrition. NOONE ever helped me. They all " minded their our business" and I grew up being hurt daily. There was one time my mother beat me so hard with the belt I fainted. My brother said when I stopped crying mom hit harder to wake me up. My step father would hide under my bed then crawl in with me. He would slam me in the tub and toilet. There was even one time when I was 4 he tore each pair of my underwear in half telling me they weren't sexy enough. Abuse went way on til I was 15. Even then I was beat for no reason almost daily. I remember once I came on from school ACTUALLY HAPPY for once to be home and as soon as I walked thru the door my mother grabbed me by the throat and slammed me in to the wall. What to know why? She thought I took her sock. I called CPS they did nothing but tell her what I said. cont

    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 2:51 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I told teachers. Drs, even youth pastors. Noone helped. No teven my own grandmother who made things worse. I would tell her what was going on and she would tell my mom what I said leading to more abuse. My mother even beat my grandmother up one day. She sent us kids out in the yard all we heard was crashes and screaming. When we were allowed back in grandma had a black eye. I have photos oh me as young as 11 months with black eyes.

    NO I do NOT believe in the " mind your own business" crap. If you suspect child abuse CALL THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!! Do NOT look the other way. It is so not worth it. Trust me those abused kids need your help!
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 2:54 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Oh and I was 6 when I got put in the hospital due to dehydration and malnutrition.
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 2:55 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN