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Opening the doors to strangers re-visited.....

This am there was a knock on our door. I looked thru the peep hole and saw two full grown men standing there. They where not in uniform, they where in jeans. I have not ordered any kind of service for the house. So,,I deciced not to open the door. After they left my 17 and 15 yr olds looked at me, and said, "why didnt you just answer the door?" I know we have had this discussion before, somewhere over the past 17 yrs. My kids are starting to test my authority on so many things that where once just common rules of our house. Is that going to get worse before it gets better? I asked dd if she was home alone would she answer the door and she said that yes she would. We went back and forth and in the end I said it was my house and my rules...alwasys go full circle till we get around to that What are your rules on opening the door to someone you dont know?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Apr. 9, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • i agree with you completely. hell half the time i dont open the door to people i do know! like you said, "my house, my rules" but maybe put a chain lock on your door. i did. it makes me feel a little safer knowing that i can open the door enough to talk to someone, but they can't force their way in. teens are curious, and they're going to open the door when you're not around. the chain lock might make them a little safer

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • well i have a front down and then a screen door they both if i dont know the person i will open my front door but keep my screen door rules are dont open then down unless told(i have a younger niece,about 3 that comes to my house) maybe you should get a screen door....and about you telling your daughter 'its your house your rules' ....if you keep ending convo's with her like that it will get worse b4 it gets better....just try to explain it to her without arguing

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 3:15 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I don't open the door if I don't know who is on the other side of it. I don't have a peephole anymore though so I get to go down the hall to a bedroom and peek out a window. Normally if a friend or relative wants to come over, they will call. It might be from down the street but at least I know the doorbell is about to ring. If I don't see a car I know parked in front of the house or have that phone call "warning" lol, I don't answer.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 3:16 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I tell my daughter and any of my friends children that stay with that even if you know the person I don't want you opening the door except for me. If someone is at the door you come get me and I will let them in (or not). Even if they know the person it might not be that well (specially having a teenage daughter). There was a boy that was just sentenced for killing and raping a girl he had been friends with since elementary school. There is a movie called eye for an eye about a teenage girl who opens the door for the delivery guy and he rapes and murders her. It's a very intense movie. Watch it and maybe let your children watch it and if that doesn't get a point across.....just sit and read the internet newspapers ( and all the real life things going on with teenage children. It's a very serious subject matter and I'm glad to hear you putting your foot down on it!

    Answer by CrazyKiss at 3:17 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • My son is only 3 but I have made it extremely clear that he is not to open the door that only mommy and daddy can. He will unlock the bottom lock to help me out but theres two more locks on the door. Im trying to get him not to even help me any more cause I dont want him thinking that after he unlocks it that he can open the door. My sisters kids who are 6 and 9 will run to the door and open it for anyone! But thats my sisters fault she just doesnt care to teach them. I am the exact same as you and I dont care if people think Im rude for not opening the door, If I dont know who you are and I didnt have anything set up that day Im not opening the door for you end of conversation. However my husband openes up the door for anyone and I hate that but I guess since hes a man it doesnt bother him. But if someone has a gun in there hand they dont care if its a guy or girl so maybe I need to start wrking on hubby next. lol

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 3:20 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I ask who it is. If they are not anyone I've invited or expect I do NOT open the door.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:32 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I am surprised your DD said she would open the door. I've always been terrified to open the door if I didn't know the person...and I don't think I ever have! Maybe you need to have another discussion with your kids and find an actual story of a girl or teenager that was upducted after opening the door for someone...I'm sure there is one out there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I live in California and we had a sex offender running around in San Diego. He had violated his parole 8 times and they STILL let him stay out of jail. He raped and murdered a 17 yr old a few weeks ago and buried her in a shallow grave,,so sad. They got him in custody and he admitted to another rape and murder of a cold case from 2008.. Your right, I try to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of life, instead of showing them what real horrible things are going on out there,,,time for a sit down talk,,..

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.

    My daughter is only 3 but she has this REALLY annoying and dangerous habit of always wanting to run to the door and see who it is and say "hi!". She's very bubbly and social, and I love that about her, but it's a habit that I have to break her of. She hasn't opened the door for anyone yet, but I'm trying to be proactive about it.

    Answer by BaisMom at 7:38 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • There was an article in Cosmo this last year about women who were raped/murdered for answering the door to men pretending to be other people or even being pulled over by cop impersonaters. This is a pretty hip and edgy magazine that speaks to young women...perhaps you could try to find that article and show it to them. May sound better coming from some one other than Mom?
    I know that even if you tell them that, a 17 year old will do what she wants when you arent home, which in this case could become very dangerous.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 12:42 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

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