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In-Law wants to move in together.....

Heres the situation. My father in law died in December and a couple days ago my mother in law called my husband saying that she wanted to kill herself because shes all alone. She's currently renting a house and wont beable to afford it much longer so she will have to move into an apartment. She asked me today if we could rent or buy a house together. I cant stand the women and shes a raging alcohlic and cusses like a sailor. I dont want my 20 month old around the drinking and cussing. On the other hand she has noone else except my husband and I feel like he's obligated to take care of her so she knows that she's not alone. What would you do?

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drs1206

Asked by drs1206 at 4:44 PM on Apr. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (466 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • SAY NO! She's a big girl, and if she needs to get her own apartment, she needs to get her own apartment. It is not you or your DH's fault that he is all she has. He CAN be there for her even in an apartment. She also sounds like therapy may help. My FIL needed that after MIL died.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 4:47 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Dont do it. What if she doesnt pay her half of the rent or whatever, plus to me, living with an in law is just weird.
    BrittanyD07

    Answer by BrittanyD07 at 4:51 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • honestly I wouldnt want to live with my MIL either but on the other hand I probably would end up doing it ( moving in together) ... but I would amke sure it was a bigger place and that we ( husband and I) would beable to afford it if she flakes out....She is asking for help and you kind of have the upper hand now, you can make it a rule that if the drinking and cursing doesnt stop ( or cuts downs atleast) that she will be asked to leave.... if she really wants it she should agree and try to stick to it...
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 4:51 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Tell her she can live with you as long as she stops drinking and swearing.
    I'd rather cut off an arm than live with my MIL.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 4:56 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Run Run Run!!! I think you need to make sure all of her benefits are intact and get her into housing! If hubby has any siblings, could everyone chip in 50-100 a month to make her stay in the other house? She was probably drunk when she called,,,perhaps she has a friend who she can live with? I wouldn't do this for sure!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 5:19 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Have her move into an old folks community. They keep them busy and they have an apt of their own based on their income. I wouldn't have her move in with me. I wont' live with my kids. I live in an income based apt and it's a great place but close enough to my kids so they can visit.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:40 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • Like He** my MIL will move in with me. I understand she may be hurting, but there's ppl out there to help her with that. You can help her by finding a professional for her to talk to.
    Right now my FIL is under-going surgery and he asked that should something happen to him we make sure my MIL is taken care of. I explained that I will do just that, but it does not mean she'll be living with us. My MIL is an alcholic, a drug user (multiple drugs).. heck she ried to roll and light up in the house with the kids staring dead at her. He's is OVERLY promiscus. No she could NEVER live with me.

    Good luck
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 8:19 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • The easiest way to ruin a relationship is to live with the in-laws.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:20 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

  • I would tell her that if she's gonna move in with you guys, she is going to HAVE to change her ways. I wouldn't want my kids around this crap either. If she can deal with it then great, if not, help her get an apartment.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 8:32 PM on Apr. 9, 2010

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