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am i being unfair?

Well i have never gotten along with my hubbys brothers or mom i get along with his dad ... he treats my kids equally as his other grandkids. in december before x mas one of his broters called and askd for our address so we gave it to him. and he said isnt it arieannas birthday on x mas we said yes and he asked if we had told everyone its double the gifts. we said yeah we did J/k then he just startsyelling at me and saying that we never sent his son a gift for his 2nd b day so i said ; i never recieved an invitation since they live far from where we live .. and he just went off on me ..ive always stayed quiet and i brought up what he said about my daughter that why didnt we use protection why did we getpregnant again! all this bull when my hubby called him to tell him the news. { i just let everything out i had always kept inside and let my anger out} i apologized later.but he still acted dumb! and disrespected me so now he

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Naralie

Asked by Naralie at 2:21 AM on Apr. 10, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • just had a babygirl and calls and expects usto be happy we hvnt talked to him since dec 2009 and is acting like nothing happend ! i am still so angry it still makes me cry when i think about it ... and i also got into a verbal argument withhiss wife which was pregnant at th time itold he to stay out of it and that she should worryabout her pregnancy instead of me . i feel like i hate them ....i dont know if i should let my hubby call and congradulate his brother which has always been a problem in our relationship ! hes always comparing our kids and being rude this whole time my hubby and i have been together...i dnt want to be unfair either... but i have sooo much against his brother and his sister in law likeyou cnt even imagine! { i dont want any bashing justopinions please!!}
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 2:26 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I think you have the right to be upset but it sounds like he just plain has a crappy personality and your best bet would be to try to blow it off when he says stupid things. After all they are brothers so you're kinda stuck with him. But I would say let him call and congratulate his brother. The drama will just build and build. Take the high road because he obviously won't. Sorry you have to deal with crap like that!
    jenae_gist

    Answer by jenae_gist at 2:57 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • you never wanna end up being blamed why a sibling realtionship didnt work,so just tell him to call not because you want to,but because its the correct thing to do be the bigger person.It doenst mean you all have to be best buddies becuase he called to congratulate.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 3:16 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • you don't "let him call" you let him be an adult & make his own decisions. You aren't his boss or in charge & it isn't up to you what he does. You can encourage him to call, or not, but it would be a huge mistake to forbid him to call. I am a firm believer in never asking anyone to choose between you & their family. Yes he has behaved badly, but this sentence - ." but i have sooo much against his brother and his sister in law like you cnt even imagine! is not good. It isn't a competition.
    I'm not bashing, I'm asking you to step outside your outraged self ( from 5 months ago) & see if you can just let go a little. Holding on to a grudge, to this anger is not going to bring you peace, It is eating you up like a wolf. Let it go. If he want s to compare don't let it touch your heart. If he is being ugly, walk away and be the better person. He is your DH's brother & you want to nurture what is good & ignore the bad
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 6:00 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Be the bigger person and forgive yourself and them. Anger can be a healthy emotion, and should be addressed constructively rather than destructively so that we can move forward! I believe that ALL relative children deserve gifts, whether the parents get along or not. Asking for double gifts is a bit much. Rather than toys, I prefer contributions to college/trust funds.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 6:35 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Just let it go for now. I don't have the best relationship with my BIL either. He used to come over and make stupid comments. Our daughter was a late walker and he would say stupid things like get her a walker, or she needs to start walking! How ignorant is that. I felt like telling him to pick up book and EDUCATE himself about the dangers of walkers. However, I would still send a bday gift in the future for his kids. Something small. The reality is it's your husband's family and unfortunately that can't be changed. Just learn to deal with them. Be glad thet don't live close! lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • *they
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Apr. 10, 2010

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