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Are you a strict mom? Do you get CRAP for it?

My DD is almost two, and I am very strict with her. She cleans up her own toys, puts on her own clothes, helps make her food, etc. I know she is still little, but I absolutely do not approve of baby-ing little kids. Never, never have I ever forced her or punished her for not doing these things, I just tell her she needs to do them, and I make them fun for her. I want her to be able to be independent when she gets older and I'm starting young. Recently my sis was a my house and my daughter was put in time out for throwing a tantrum, and before she got up I told her she needed to apologize. My sister told me I was being a b*tch because my dd "is only two". Please, at two she knows what she did wrong and she knows that it is unacceptable.

Point being, am I the only one who is strict on kids? Or am I "overboard" here?

PS My sister is not a mom so a lot of times I think she has no clue.. but I wanted other opinions..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (45)
  • I think it's going way overboard in making her dress herself. My daughter is only three and JUST getting good at dressing herself. But I think it's fine to have her learning to pick up after herself, and my daughter loves helping cook dinner (she only gets to do some stirring and putting some ingredients in) and she loves helping put dishes away. I encourage it. I don't think you're being a bitch for making her apologize when she's been bad. It's a good habit to get into.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • The dressing and making her own meal is a little much. I can understand making it fun to cook or help set the table but she is still a child and a mother is supposed to take care of her child not constantly nag and make the child act like a grown up at 2. But I also hate when people with no kids try to put in their 2 cents when they have NO IDEA how to raise children.


    Answer by kjfamily at 12:39 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • You are stricter than most moms. Yes, your child needs to learn to apologize when she has done something wrong and yes, she does need to learn independence, but she is very, very young and may not fully be able to understand your methods. Most toddlers are eager to help, so keep encouraging her to do so. You said that you "absolutely do not approve of baby-ing little kids" but you need to realize that she still needs comforting from you, i.e. hugs, snuggling, etc. She needs your direction, but she also needs your love.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 12:40 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • OP here: She likes to dress herself! She does NOT have it down, by any means, but I think it is really helping her learn. She is not able to do it all by herself yet, (and its the same with everything else.. she doesn't completely clean up, or cook, etc. she just "helps"). I agree, these things are good habits to start young.

    Thank you for your opinion!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • When my daughter was that age, I never spanked her and never raised my voice, but I expected her to behave, do as she was told, and that tamtrums would not be tolerated.. My mother was constantly telling me that I was too strict with her.. Now my daughter is 13. She is on the honor roll, responsible, respectful of other people.. She takes care of her possesions and she is a delight to be around.. Now my mother tells me what an awesome job I have done parenting her.. Go figure..

    Some people insist on treating their children like mindless little drones.. In my opinion, that is doing the child a disservice.. You are doing a good job.. Tell your sister to worry about her own children and leave your child to you.. If she doesn't have children of her own, then you can tell her that until she is a mother, she has no room to criticize your parenting.. Even then she doesn't have that right..

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 12:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • OP again: Neebug, thank you. I do comfort her, and I try really hard to make all of the learning and activities we do fun for her. I comfort her, snuggle, cuddle, kiss, and just have time to play as well. I'm not MEAN, I do take care of her, and do things for her as well.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I was like you. I have a 14y/o and he is my only one. Now that he is older and I have had a chance to see other kids and other ways to do things...I came to realize. They are babies only for so long and responsible grown-ups for a very long time. I now feel bad that I did that to him, it didn't do anything bad for him, but, I realize that even a baby/child that is babyied to a point and allowed to just be baby like for a little while longer does not hinder them if you let them grow and take responsibility on their own. I feel bad that I thought he HAD to lose the bottle at 1, HAD to lose the pacifier at 2...etc. I see where there is beneifts to the whole AP parenting. I never really spent baby time with him, he talked and acted like a grown up at 2. He should have been a 2 year old in manner and speech. It doesn't make him WAY ahead in school and kids that were babied are no more irresponsible than the ones taught like ours.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:43 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I don't think you went overboard at all. You sound a lot like a couple I know; their kids are some of the most polite and respectful kids I have met for their age. The oldest is six, I think. The only thing they do that I see as "too far" is if one of the kids has an accident of the #2 kind at night in bed while potty training or after they are mostly potty trained, they have to clean it up themselves. But they aren't my kids, and if it works, hey. I also HATE it when childless people try to tell you how to do things-until you have one, you don't know, so why act like you do?

    Answer by preacherskid at 12:52 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • See, that I don't like that, BradenIsMySon. I can understand you regretting some of that. My daughter, though helpful and very well mannered, definitely doesn't have to act like a little grown up. She gets to be crazy and talk nonsense and run around the house naked at night before she gets her jammies on. If she gets hurt, she gets to cuddle on mama or daddy and cry until she's okay again. She still gets to be little and silly and spin in circles until she falls down.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • This is only my OPINION, but I do not think this mom is going out of her way to treat her 2 year old like a little adult.. Children's behaviors are learned behaviors.. Even at this young age, teaching a child to "help" and to say "sorry" isn't a bad thing.. It is true that they may not grasp the full meaning, but it is a learning process and later whe will put the thought with the action.. My daughter did not clean her room by herself or completly dress herself when she was 2, but she did beging learning at that age..
    I'm not talking about raising a 2 year old Doogie Howser, nor am I talking about "Mommy Dearest" diciplne.. I am talking about boundries.. Even a toddler can learn boundries..

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 12:57 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

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