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what do u do when ur hubby has a temper tantrum?

my hubby n i are young in our early 20s and sometimes he doesnt know how to control his anger. he thinks its best to let things slide until he gets pissed and blows up. we rarely fight maybe 2 or 3 blow ups a year. we fuss ab small stuff and r back friends the next lol. but when we fight it gets bad!he screams and shouts and hits things. if i try to leave he gets angrier and usually tries to grab me or something but i can sit still and be quiet either. again this is not often but how can i get him to have smaller arguments more freguently, or difuse his anger while keeping my composure also. once he got angry and called me a bitch in an argument and i slapped him...i hated it! (he responded by pinching me...) what can i do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Apr. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It sounds like you both could get into an abusive situation. Read this web page: http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx and help him learn to control his anger.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 1:07 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • My husband has never had a temper tantrum,, He's an adult.. BUT if he ever did, I would tell him the same thing I told my child when she was young and threw a tantrum.. "when you are ready to speak to me with your indoor voice I will be happy to talk to you, until that time, this discussion is on hold"..

    If he can't be an adult then YOU be the adult.. There is no rule that says you have to yell and scream right along with him.. Don't lower yourself to that level.. Let him stay down there by himself until he can act like a big boy..
    Mad_Hexer

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 1:14 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • If my hubby gets an attitude it better be for a good reason. Were adults but hey sometimes you get stress and need to yell. I jsut tell my hubby that he needs to calm down and speak to me like i am his wife. Of he can get out and blow his steam off somewhere else I don't want to hear him complain about stuff. I have to many things to deal with my kids and I don't need stress from him/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • If an adult can't control his temper then you have a major problem. Having more fights more frequently won't diffuse the situation. He needs anger management classes or to grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • that type of stuff escalates into major abuse it doesn't diffuse with more fights. it gets worse each time not better. slapping him is not a great idea either. it will get you both arrested for domestic violence then where will the kids be?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • My husband never acts like that. I don't hit him, but even if I did he would never respond to me in violence. He's an adult and knows how to handle disagreements without resorting to violence and name calling. We don't yell and fight, we talk to each other if there is something we are upset about. I think some counseling is in order to learn new ways to communicate!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 7:55 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

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