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Do you give food and drinks to neighbor kids?

Yesterday I was outside with my 5 year old ds. It's Spring Break here, so other neighbor kids were out, and they always congregate in our yard. Our 8 year old neighbor went in her house and got 2 ice cream sandwiches-one for ds and one for herself (none for the 6 year old boy that was out, but ds broke his in 2 and shared). Ok, fine. A few minutes later, the 8 year old's mom came out and screamed at her and made a big fuss because she gave out ONE ice cream. Right in front of me and the other kids, it was very uncomfortable. I was shocked she made a big deal out of it. It's not like the kid gave out the whole box or their dinner or something. Ds gives that girl and the other kids popsicles, juice boxes, Gogurt, etc. all the time and it doesn't bother me. The other kids do it as well. Do you let your kids?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Apr. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • i've never been in a situation like that. But i would not feel comfortable allowing my child to give food to the neighbor kids because they might have food allergies or something. And i personally, don't appreciate people giving my kids extra food (especially junk food or sweets) so i wouldn't want to be doing that to others.
    However, i do think she over reacted.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:20 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • yes i do, i dont find a problem with it. if i see that there isnt enough for everyone then i make them go inside and eat and then they could go back out!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I have always fed the kids in the neighborhood (with their moms' permission). Step back and consider what might have caused her reaction... could it be that those were the last two ice cream sandwiches and that she was saving one for her husband or someone else? Could it be that she has a small grocery budget? As crazy as it seems, call her and apologize for not asking if her daughter could give your son an ice cream sandwich and do not mention what you give to other kids. First, it makes you look like the good guy and her feel less bad for exploding in front of her neighbor. Second, you keep the peace in with your neighbor. Taking the high ground and shifting blame goes a long way with people like her. You might find that she was PMS'ing or having a really bad day and wanted that ice cream sandwich to soothe her own nerves. She will likely apologize to you in return.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 1:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • If mine were old enough, sure. To me that is just part of living in an neighborhood full of kids. But please try to keep in mine that family might have had a party planned and had the icecream set aside for a special occasion. If that were the case, I'd have been mad too. Causing a scene like that is very rude, but some people act differently.

    Also, while your child gives that kid things, 1. the mother might not be aware of it and 2. it's a general act of kindness on your part, such as a small gift. She might not feel as if she needs to "repay" you. 3. They might be having some really hard financial struggles.

    There are so many possibly scenarios for this question to lead me to an answer. That is just a few.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Major overreaction on her part.

    I let my son give snacks if he is taking something outside. Sometimes he will bring out a box of crackers to share, or a big bunch of grapes. If he wants to hand out junk, I will have the kid ask their parent first. If it is something like yogurt, cheese sticks, or fruit or a drink, I don't make them ask. We know our neighbors very well, though, so we know there aren't allergies, and we know they don't mind.
    JonesMama

    Answer by JonesMama at 1:28 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Kids on our block share snacks.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:46 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I would have actually came out and got on her for not getting another one out for the other kid.

    however, I am also someone who doesn't like my kids just grabbing things out of the frig and pantry. I like them to ask so that way, one I know what we have and dont have, two, i know what they have eaten when - thus planning dinner and such I know what to expect them eat, and three, my kids are snackers and if I let them snack all day free reign....they wouldn't eat dinner.

    however, i would definately in this case wanted her to take out another ice cream so that all of them could have one or if i didnt have anymore, i would have offerred something else.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 2:09 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I keep my freezer stocked with popsicles in the summertime because I constantly have kids at my house, usually in my pool. My kids will ask if they can get popsicles or juice boxes for their friends and I always say yes. They usually come home with a juice box or a popsicle when they're playing with their friends down the street. None of us neighborhood moms mind sharing with the kids, in fact, we enjoy it. At least we know where the kids are and what they're doing when they're eating popsicles in the backyard.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 2:49 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Regardless of her budget she over reacted!!! I think once it happend she should of waited to talk to her kid indoors.
    If I don't want my kids eating junk food other pleaces I simply don't let them going around to other peoples places. Who knows maybe one day a pervert would want to give'em something else?! My front yard is fenced, I don't allow my kids runnig wiled on the street like other kids, when I give something to my kids like a poosicle the other kids run to my house to ask for themselfs, I don't like it that they would want to come over only for the fun stuff in the yard for the kids like the swings and club house and candy. I do ask them to first ask their parents first for permition to have a treat. Also I have them go to their homes to have their parent open the treat for them not me. I prefr not to give them anything but they are just kids...Once you give in they come over everyday expecting a treat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • lol, the neighbors are always giving my kids things I don't like them to eat. I don't say anything. It's cool. but hello, brightly colored sugary juice-ish drinks, popsicles, SO much food coloring. Then I break out the clif bars and they all give each other looks.... oh well. since my house is out of the way of everyone else, i buy bags of things i like and give them to the neighbors to help with the treat fund>>
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 3:01 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

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