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If you did something completely stupid, would you come clean even if you knew it would destroy your family?

My situation is this-

Back in high school I was a huge meth-head, but then I checked myself into rehab 6 years ago because I had started mixing that with other stupid teenage things. A couple years later I reunited with my Jr. High love and we got married a year after that. Just this past year we had our first child, who is just amazing. After reuniting with my now husband I drank and smoked pot occasionally, but still kept my life completely in order because we had both agreed neither one of us wanted to be like I was in high school. Both stopped when I got pregnant, gladly. Since my sons birth I haven't touched pot and I have only had a couple drinks while out with my husband. However, I had a mental breakdown a month ago and it was really bad. During that time I lost sense of most things, and a few weeks ago I found a connection to get some meth. I have been doing it in secret since, except when I'm with my baby (cont'd)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Apr. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • yes!!! You need help beofre you hurt yourself or anyone else. If your husvband and family love you they would support you and get you the help you need. I know that if my husband came clean with me for doing anything I would get him help and be there by his side, as well with any of my family members. That is what family does, and that is wht you do when yo love someone!

    Answer by Precious333 at 2:20 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I was a child from a drug-abuse family and would never compromise my child's safety for any type of substance or self-gratification. That's when I realized that this would progress if I continued. So, I have decided to stop (last night - haven't had anything since). My biggest question is this: should I tell my husband that I went through all this? He told me straight-up before we got married that hard drugs (meth, coke, heroin, etc) were a complete deal-breaker and that he would be unable to stay with me if I ever got into any of them (he knows my past, but at that time I never would have thought I'd even THINK about doing meth again). So I know if I come clean it'll destroy my family and I have a feeling everyone would find out and I would have nobody to be there during this tough time! But this is the only secret I've ever had with him, and I definitely feel guilty. I can't lose my family, but I feel like a failure! Help?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • (OP) anon :20 was the continuation BTW.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • adn again... my answer is the same.... yes!!! you need to come clean, even if yo think you will never do it again! Marriage is built not obnly on love, but trust and communication as well. If you do not do these things it can potentiall tear your marriage up. Buit when you tell the truth there can be healing and intimacy. I know that if I am feeling guilty for something and do not confess I withdraw from the ones I love most. So, tell your husband and together find a plan where you can get healing, like counseling or something.

    Answer by Precious333 at 2:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I think you should tell your husband and go get yourself some help. It's not like you can keep a think like that a secret for very long anyway. Addictions become apparent pretty quickly to the sober bystanders.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • He should be with you no matter what if he honeslty loves you.
    Explain it just the way you did. Tell him you are not letting yourself lose control, you are not getting into that life again.
    He will be hurt, angry and mad but he will understand and forgive you. He may keep a closer eye on you but that is to your benefit. You do not want to do anything that can compromise your son or your family.
    I am sorry you slipped up. Your family would forgive you, they always will. Just keep bettering yourself and stay strong.
    Good luck!!!

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 2:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Wouldn't your hubby be able to support you since he should know what you are going through? The pot and drinking are minor compared to the meth. Get on some anti depressents/anxiety meds to help with your hormones bouncing all over. The meth will just make it worse, not good for the chemicals in your brain. It's going to have your dopamine and seratonin all over the place and then you will really be in a deep hole. So get some sort of support and find yourself again, your true happy self.

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 2:36 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • (OP) addiction is not apparent to the majority of the people I know, or maybe I just hide it well. Everyone, except for those I was using with in high school, didn't have a single clue for over a year of my heavy meth use. Either way though, I know I'm not touching it again, I know too well what I will become if I continue and I will NOT be that type of mother! This whole thing was because of a mental breakdown that had me in a completely different place where I honestly felt like I had no control. However, after a few weeks I just knew this wasn't who I am anymore and that it was a stupid choice. I'll still get counseling since I already have a therapist who I can confide this all in now that I've stopped (if I had confided beforehand she would have had to report it). It's my husband I'm worried about, he is very strong about this and has made it very clear that he will not have any tolerance for it, especially now with baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Tell him please!! before this desire comes back again...i dont think he will leave you...if you dont count on this you will have no family period because your baby will get taken away the longer you keep a secret the more confident you get to make the problem bigger.You are doing great already by knowing this could damage your life now go on and tell him.

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 2:45 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • If your not going to touch it again then no.... why start the drama but you need to know your over your problem... I think maybe you should seek some help... GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

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