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Why is it my husband invites people to our house and then he tells me last minute? I have to cook and clean up which upsets me and deal with the kids. Then when his company comes over it's like I don't even exist? No one even talks to me and he talks about me to them. What should I do???? This is not the first time either

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candydimples

Asked by candydimples at 9:51 PM on Apr. 10, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • tell your dh to let you know in advance. and if its his company make him clean. or go do something while they are there. like take the kids somewhere to play or something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Don't do anything. Do not clean or cook for him or his friends. Just say OK and take the kids to a different room and stay their while his friends are there. If he asks what are you doing as in not cleaning or cooking for him/them. Tell him they are your friends do it your self.  JMO

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:58 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • doesn't all men.. tell him either let you know the day before or at least earlier on in the day and if not you aren't cooking for them.
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 10:01 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • I didnt go through the first part, but I did go through the feeling of being invisible. My husband had political friends from our union. So our friendships with them where business based. Everyone loved my husband and his abilities to get managers to bend to his needs and politicians. We went on vacation with a few other couples and all the focus was on my ex,,,even the gals just thought he was so witty and amusing. Its not that they ignored me as much as they just werent that interested in me. Next time he gives you ADVANCE notice,,,b/c thats what its going to be from now on, invite someone you are close to over. A family member or a neighbor or a girl friend, someone you will be comfortable to talk to. good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • Personally, I wouldn't bother with the whole cooking & cleaning & picking up bit. Personally, I'd say "okay" when he told me he was having friends over and then go about my business. As a pp said, when he asks why you are not doing the usual, tell him that you are not expecting company last minute, he is, so he can clean up or cook or whatever he wants to do for his company, you have other plans (even if you don't, find something else to do or somewhere else to be). When he whines and splutters about not having snacks or whatever, tell him, well, you shouldn't have waited until the last minute to tell me - sorry! After a few times of this, he may get the hint (don't count on it, though, 'cause men are notoriously dense).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • talk to him ask him to tell you & write it down that guests are coming also ask him not to leave you out.. if he tells you last min after the talk then leave the house & when he asks why you didn't cook or clean up you tell him I asked you before to tell me ahead of time.. you already had plans.
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:17 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • STOP doing all of the above. Let them come over to a messy house. If thier hungry they can eitherr go out to eat or tell dh to make them something. I'd sit back and chill. My dh's parents were like that. Waiting until they were parked outside to let me know they were visiting. It got to the point where i stopped opening my door.

    I think you dh is being rude and selfish and u should call him on it.
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 11:06 PM on Apr. 10, 2010

  • my sister goes through what you do and not sure why she does...oh it is because it is easier to bend in her husbands direction than to go against him. He gets so pissy and spends days ignoring her if she does stand up to him. Some men can be talked to and they will listen, but here's the thing, he already does not have much regard for you to put you in this situation, so why would he if you spoke up?
    I would how ever state to him... that you are no longer going to entertain the company, unless he understands you want to be apart of things not just stuck in the kitchen. That if he doesn't change his ways and show respect towards you next he brings company over and expects food....you will call pizza hut(leaving it to him to pay for it and answer the door) and take the kids to the park and leave him to fend for his own self and his company.
    If he shows you lack of understanding...you will know where you stand
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • Tell him next time if there is no warning, the company will be turned away at the door and if he really wants to hang out with them he can go somewhere else. I did that with my hubby and he warns me now
    Laura_Cruz

    Answer by Laura_Cruz at 1:53 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

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