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What does your child call his stepfather?

My husband and I got married when my son was 6mo. He is now 3yo, and he has begun calling his stepfather "Daddy". We did not teach him to say this, it evolved over time and there was even a phase in which stepdad was also Mama. lol. My husband stayed home with our son for periods of time while I was in school, taught him his ABCs, potty trained him, taught him to count, etc.

His biological dad is in his life, though he has been known to not show up for months at a time, not pay child support for months at a time, use partying as an excuse to skip visitation, etc. So the stepfather has been the constant, reliable father figure in his life. He calls his biodad "Dad." Biodad just realized that our son calls his stepfather "Daddy" and is flipping out.

My son adores his stepdad and I feel he would have been heartbroken if, the day he first shyly whispered "Daddy", had told him no.

What is your personal experience with this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Apr. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • I'd tell "Dad" that if he was going to flake and allow some other man to take care of his responsibilities then he doesn't have any right to be upset that your son sees him as "Daddy".


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • My daughter's father pasted away before I found out I was pregnant with her, so she never knew her biodad but I got together with her stepdad when she was about 8 mnths old and she from the word go dove into his arms and they have been together ever since and she calls him daddy or dad it does not pase her at all,just think of this your son loves your hubby and that should be all that counts. That is all that counts with my daughter is she has someone that cares about her and is willling to raise her. Hope this helps!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • My 8 year old calls my boyfriend daddy. If his father has a problem with it he can kiss my @ss. Of course my ex hasn't been around in 7 years.


    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 1:09 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • My half brother calls his stepmom mom. His mother is a total flake too. I would just tell him that his stepdad has become a father figure in your (as in the biodad) continual abscense for months at a time. We didn't tell him to call him that but if our son chooses to call him that then its his choice. That's basically what my mom told my brother's mom and while she still wasn't happy she got over it.

    Answer by Tf1990 at 1:53 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I'm a stepmom.

    I feel VERY strongly that there is a father and a mother and no matter how the adults feel about one another or how they're judged at their job, as long as they have a presence in any way in that child's life, the names "mom" and "dad" in all variations are taken.

    When my stepsons started calling me mommy of their own free will, I CORRECTED them and told them they already had a mommy, but they only had one , too. When my husband and I got married, I asked them if they wanted to use a special name for me and they said they did. We came up with an alternative that is NOT mom, mommy, mama, mimi, nana, or any other name that should be used for existing family members.

    So of course my husband's ex-wife has the boys calling her latest husband (#3, she has an average 4 year lifespan on her relationships) "Dad" and claiming it's different from "Daddy."

    BULL. It's easy enough to find an alternative.

    Answer by Avarah at 1:57 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • You know, I get a little mad. This isn't the first post on this topic, by far. In every one the mom says, "well, the kid did it on his own! We didn't make him!" So what. You're the parent and it's a SIMPLE matter to say, "No, daddy is daddy. This is ."

    Answer by Avarah at 1:59 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • My stepson calls me mom or momma or mommy or MommaMyName. His BM is not around much and has never paid child support. He calls her mom or MommaHerName. It bothered her at first but eventually came to terms that I AM his mom because I do everything for him.

    I personally feel that if "Dad" doesn't like it then he should step up and BE the DADDY. If my own sons BM was more involved i would not be allowing him to call me mom. But as long as i feel like i'm the mom and i do all the mommy things all the time and HE feels like i'm the mom ...then. ...that's the way it is.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:06 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • Just because someone is the childs bio-dad does not make them their "daddy". It takes alot more than that, and from the sound of it your DH has been playing the roll alot better than your son's bio-dad.

    My oldest son (who will be 4 soon) met my DH when he was 7 months old. His bio-dad has never been around, but we still never push the whole "daddy" thing upon him. And now as far as I can remember he has called my DH daddy.

    Answer by Apple_Pie2010 at 3:10 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • my girls call their step dad by his ex husband always gets called dad buy his gf's kids...which is dumb because they are only playing house not actually married.....i had a step dad from 3 yrs til i was 18 and he was always called by his first name

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I really think it's up to everyone involved, if the kid want to call him Dad and the stepdad is ok and mom is ok with it then why ask. But just the fact that it'sa question, tells me that Mom is not feeling it.

    Answer by no_wire_hangers at 4:12 AM on Apr. 11, 2010

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