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should some parents re-think AP if...

Okay, I referenced this in another post but I am wondering what you AP moms think. Shouldn't AP be toned down to some extent in terms of baby wearing and the like if you have to send your child to daycare all day? The reason I ask if because my mom works at a daycare and the children who are attached to their parents constantly while at home cause the most problems while a the daycare. The smaller ones scream constantly and the older ones either constantly whine to be held or withdraw. It just doesn't seem to work unless you can keep up it as a SAHM because caregivers in a center just CAN'T sit and tend to one specific child. There are just too many of them in a room for this to be plausible. What is the best way to combine AP with being a working mom??? Just curious, as I stay at home and work. :-) But the stories she tells has me slightly biased against extreme AP, and I'd like to be more open minded!


Asked by ErinHill226 at 4:32 PM on Apr. 11, 2010 in Just for Fun

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This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Hmm... well, I'm an AP mom, and my daughter was in daycare for a while. It wasn't when she was very young, though, it was from about 10 months to about 15 months. By that time she wanted her independance from me a lot of the time anyway.

    If I were going to be at work and my baby at daycare, then yes, I probably would tone it down. I wouldn't use CIO or Ferberize them or anything, but I would probably give them a little more tummy time on the floor, or put them in a seat or walker while I did chores instead of wearing them. It seems kind of counter productive to have them attached to you so much that they are traumatized at daycare when they don't get that special one on one attention. I would still hold my baby a lot, still wear them when we're out, and still co-sleep, but they would be given more "independant" time to help with the daycare situation.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 4:42 PM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I just wanted to add that my mom and her coworkers do the best they can. They do not IGNORE anyone's child, but it is a fact of the job that eventually one child has to be put down for awhile so another one can be fed or get some love. Oftentimes they end up using the "down time" between meals to sit and allow several kids at once to crawl on them and get love and attention at the same time. They also spend plenty of time playing with them and they each have "their babies" so that each child gets attached to a certain caregiver and feels safe with her. But it still remains that if a child is used to being held 24/7 and then has to be sent to a center at X WILL be different because there is no way to carry 4-5 kids at once per caregiver, ya know?

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 4:35 PM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • Did you see the show "radical parenting" in discovery or learning channel? They had doctors on there saying how unsafe AP is for children. I'm sure they will show reruns of it, take a look.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I didn't, but I will see if it's listed on youtube or discovery or to have a looksie. I don't consider myself an AP parent. I do let my daughter signal what she needs, but she definitely isn't glued to my hip 24/7. Neither of us would be very happy with that arrangement because she's just naturally more independent. From the time she was born she wanted cuddles while eating, a few minutes after to cuddle and talk, and then it was "PUT ME DOWN...I HAVE PEOPLE WATCHING TO DO!" I had to remove her toys from her bouncer and just talk to her and let her look around. But I've wondered about this because based on the behavior the kids have in my mom's class, it makes it appear as though AP does the opposite of what'd you'd want. But then again, daycare workers cannot AP 14 kids at once. (Although insanely enough, there are some mothers who instruct them to do so when they bring them!)

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 5:47 PM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I don't know what AP is... but I'm sure you're right, although I'm a SAHM, and my son has no trouble adapting to the sunday school class he goes to every so often... He sees more toys and doesn't care if I leave the room or not. I'm going to safely assume the same would be the case if he went to daycare a few days a week. I guess he's just not as demanding as some. But he doesn't get babied a whole, whole lot. I never rushed to his aid if he tripped or fell down a whole lot, unless he really did get hurt I never picked him up off the floor, but helped him stand and assess what just happened...

    Answer by matobe at 5:49 PM on Apr. 11, 2010

  • I don't generally get my facts on parenting from television.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Apr. 11, 2010