My older child is generally very sweet and extremely well behaved. Our younger daughter has emotional and behavioral issues stemming from her traumatic background prior to adoption (as a preschooler). When the two of them fight, if often turns physical.
To be honest, fights are vitually always triggered by the younger one, but the older one is pushed to her limits and strikes back physically. Most often, this means digging her finger nails into her sister's arm (while the younger one lashes out by hitting). Beyond the general concern of reducing fighting (and managing the younger one's antagonistic behaviors), I am concerned that my younger one is getting scars all over her arms.
I am trying to find ways to help the older one to stay calm and walk away or get me or my husband to intervene. Just telling her to do that is not working, so I am looking for some concrete coping skills I can suggest to her. Any ideas?
Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Apr. 11, 2010 in Adoption
Answer by DDDaysh at 2:36 PM on Apr. 12, 2010
Answer by kimberlyinberea at 7:58 PM on Apr. 11, 2010
Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:05 PM on Apr. 11, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:00 PM on Apr. 11, 2010
Answer by Southernroots at 2:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Apr. 12, 2010
Quote "If all else fails, threaten to ship them to China,lol.Just kidding...don't really do that one,lol."
All kidding aside, don't ever, ever, ever threaten an adoptee with abandonment. Don't even do that thing where the child refuses to come and we say "ok we're leaving, bye" Adoptees are highly sensitive to abandonment.
Answer by onethentwins at 12:54 PM on Apr. 12, 2010
I never allowed my twins to fight or call each other names or treat each other disrespectfully. It's the number one rule in my house. If I were you I'd look for counseling from someone who specializes in adoptee behavior and adoption issues.
Nancy Verrier offers phone counseling: http://www.nancyverrier.com/
Or try Marlou Russell: http://marlourussellphd.com/default.aspx
Answer by onethentwins at 12:58 PM on Apr. 12, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2010
Answer by ceejay1 at 6:01 PM on Apr. 12, 2010