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Help trying to make the right desicion.

Dh has left me and I am currently on my own and struggling. I have a BFF whose a male. Hes a wonderful man.We've known each other since elementary school. We both have had feelings since highschool but neither of us said anything. Nothing has ever happen besides a hug. Theres this connection between us. Well hes offered to help me find a bigger place and move in with me and the kids. To help. I need a roommate. I cant do it on my own. He's great to my kids and he WANTS to step up and help me. He wants to make sure I go to my first day of school and I do it. He wants to make sure I work. He wants me to be happy. Basically, the divorce is in the process and still new. Still confusing. I am trying to figure out if it would be a good idea to step up and go with my BFF and yes there could be a possible relationship. Not anytime soon. Would me moving in with my male BFF be a good idea? And would it look bad in court if I do so?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:58 AM on Apr. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If he wants to move in and help you and he is great to your children and you then you both need to go into this with wide open eyes. What looks good or bad in court is what you think and feel in your heart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I think it is a good idea, but you should definitely make some rules & guidlines before making the deal legit. Make sure he is not expecting anything in return from you. Some people do things sometimes hoping they'll get something in return.

    When my BFF let me move in with her, it turned into a nightmare. I pretty much turned into her slave. Glad she was around to help when she did though. I , pretty quickly, got on my own two feet & couldn't do so if she didn't help me. (she was a total bitch though & we no longer have the same friendship we once did after moving in together)

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:30 AM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Stay platonic & do it, just follow your own rules, for as long as it takes, ahy?

    Answer by Stefono at 7:58 AM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I think it's a bad idea. For one thing, you are still married to someone else. And, if you hope that this new relationship might lead to something permanent, it would be bad to start it out with your being dependent upon him just for your survival. I don't know why your first marriage is failing, but that should be the first thing you figure out, primarily so whatever mistakes you made the first time, you don't repeat the second time. Going from one man directly to another is always a bad idea. A woman needs to take time to understand what went wrong and take steps to see that it doesn't happen again. Every time you bond with a man, you lose something of yourself. It takes two whole individuals to have a successful marriage. So get back what you have lost, even though it may mean you will have to struggle for longer. The quick fix is not always the best one, and I think that is true in your case just now.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:01 AM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I would not do this until the divorce is final at least...especially if you have custody of the kids. I think if you're going to do it after that, keep it on the slow side and see what happens. Don't put any pressures on it or pre-conceived notions.

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

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