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She's never paid a dime!!!

In the last two and a half years BM has not paid a single cent to child support. Which is fine, we don't really need the money. We don't chase after her jobs for it or anything either because that would be more work then it's worth. She doesn't hold a job for very long.
But we do send her monthly child support statements. She lives out of state and only see's her son once a year or less (her choice). She also has irregular phone contact. Sometimes talking to DS a few times a month and other times going MONTHS without any kind of communication.

Now, sometime this week i'll be sending out the statement. I'm considering including pictures. Would you send pictures? If you would, would they only be of DS or would you include others (like the family he lives with)? What are your opinions?


Asked by outstandingLove at 2:14 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You're not obligated to send her anything so don't. And as far as PAS goes, she's alienated herself, willingly. If anything, she's abandoning. And until she pays CS, she has no case for PAS. She could go to jail if she opens that can of worms.

    I'll never understand a woman who abandons her child this way.

    Answer by Micksbabe at 4:53 AM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Maybe she will see them and realize what she is missing.  I doubt it, but it could happen.


    Answer by sunshine06 at 2:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I don't see why you'd even bother to send statments if she never pays. I sure wouldn't send pictures.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Be the bigger person and send a few photos of DS by himself and yes, a few of him doing the things he loves, with or without the rest of the family (choose pics for how good they are, not just if they show DS alone). If not for her, you wouldn't have DS to love & cherish, right? So be grateful she stays away and lets you basically have him all to yourself and try not be nasty to her just because you disapprove of how she is with your DS.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • to the first anon
    we send statements even though she doesn't pay so that she cannot claim that she didn't know how much was due, or that she forgot. or anything else.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:27 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • the family he lives with? wtf? he lives with another family other than your's? why would she want to see pix of anyone other than him? Just post them online and she can see them there if she's interested.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • she doesn't have internet
    and no he doesn't live with a family outside of us. ...our family is just different.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 4:11 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Since she is not paying support or making much of an effort to be in his life I would not send pictures. If she wants pictures then she should visit and take pictures with him, or call and ask that he send her pictures.

    Answer by MizLee at 4:15 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • May not want to alienate her. Child support and visitation/pictures are not equal. She can slap a Parental Alienation Syndrome suit on you faster than you can blink.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • No she can't anon. she CHOOSES to live out of state. she CHOOSES not to call. she CHOOSES not to see her son. we have never denied her visitation, phone calls, or any other kind of contact. she doesn't send cards, letters or gifts. and she knows where his grandparents live as well as our address as well. she also had my cell number (without my knowledge) but didn't call for 7 months!!!!

    don't talk to me about Parental Alienation.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:33 PM on Apr. 12, 2010