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pictures for a deadbeat BM?

In the last two and a half years BM has not paid a single cent to child support. Which is fine, we don't really need the money. We don't chase after her jobs for it or anything either because that would be more work then it's worth. She doesn't hold a job for very long.
But we do send her monthly child support statements. She lives out of state and only see's her son once a year or less (her choice). She also has irregular phone contact. Sometimes talking to DS a few times a month and other times going MONTHS without any kind of communication.

Now, sometime this week i'll be sending out the statement. I'm considering including pictures. Would you send pictures? If you would, would they only be of DS or would you include others (like the family he lives with)? What are your opinions?


Asked by outstandingLove at 2:34 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in Just for Fun

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This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I would include pics.. just so she can see what shes missing

    Answer by kristal2146 at 2:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I think you are right to keep sending her the statements and if I were you I would probably send a couple of pictures just of the child. For your part, when the child is older you can always say that you had no part in keeping her out of his life, that the door was always open to her, and she was always kept in the loop as much as possible so he can never blame anyone but her for not maintaining their relationship. And maybe there is at least a part of her that wishes she was a better mother and person- I am a sucker who always gives people the benefit of the doubt, though, sometimes when they don't deserve it. If sending the pictures to her can in no way be harmful to the child then I think you should go ahead. If he knows about it will he get his hopes up that the pictures will get the BM to call or anything? If that is the case then I might not tell him just so he doesn't get disappointed. Good luck!

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:18 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I would send her pics....

    Answer by jbirchard at 4:08 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Why are you sending out child support statements? I would be taking her to COURT and let the courts deal with it. As for sending pics, why don't you ask your stepson and see what he wants?

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:36 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • We don't want to take her to court because she could then file a motion to try to stop DS from moving to Germany to be with his dad. And because there is a chance that she will one day lose her parental rights but if she's paying child support then it's less likely that will happen.

    DS is 4 years old and i'm sure he'd tell me to send her pictures ...but honestly, he is so detached from her i'm sure he wouldn't bat an eye if i told him (which i would never tell him this, but if i did) we couldn't send pictures to her.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • So you don't need the money and don't want to go to court or she can use her rights as mother to stop your husband from taking the boy out of the country. Why are you even bothering to send statments let alone thinking of sending pictures? What is even the point?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • huh. okay. instead of getting an answer to my question i'm having to answer questions

    we send her the statements because she needs to be informed. if she wants to be involved we aren't going to stop her. she's already given permission for DS to leave the country but if we take her to court to force her to pay support then she might change her mind, wouldn't you? by law she is supposed to pay the support and she has every right to know how much she is in debt.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I honestly dont know either lol -- I would be confused ( a part of me would want to send a pic to show her how great he is without her, another part of me wouldnt because i dont think she is worth it) .....

    Actually I probably wouldnt unless she actually asked for one

    Answer by glamomomo at 2:58 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I say, send the statements with out pictures. Just like usual. If she is interested she will call or something.

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 2:58 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I wouldn't go to the effort personally. If she asked, I'd send it, but I wouldn't do it just cause I thought she might like it.

    Answer by Kelly913 at 3:04 PM on Apr. 12, 2010