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Horrible Terrible 2's! Help!

Hi, I am a 21 y/o single SAHM of my 2 1/2 year old daughter Kaydence. I am on the verge of a mental breakdown with having to deal with my daughter all the time alone now. She has been so horrible to me over the past few months and it has gotten worse now that daddy is gone. She is constantly defiant, refuses to behave. Always tries to play with things she KNOWS shes not allowed to. When she doesn't get her way she continually screams, yells, hits, pushes, kicks, falls to the floor flipping out, she pushes me to the floor, or pulls on my clothes until I fall. Throws anything she can lift in arms reach at me, she's given me black eyes, knocked out half of one of my teeth (in walmart) and this is something that goes on throughout the day. I have tried everything I can think of to help her be better,....... out of room, will post rest in comments.....

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dragonbaby6

Asked by dragonbaby6 at 3:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (6)
  • Oh wow... I have a 2-1/2 year old VERY strong willed boy and I think what it sounds like is maybe she's gotten away with things All the way along for it to even get this bad.. My son has and will test me all the time on everything, but the "nasty' mean behavior has never been ok and never will be. but most of the time I don't react angry or upset..but I also started discipline with my son at 8 months old.. I am so sorry this is such a hard battle.. it shouldn't have to be!!!! what types of discipline are you doing?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:02 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • A few pointers. Make rules & consequences clear and consistent. State the rule(s) and consequences before they will need to be followed, when your daughter is in a calm state and be consistent. If it is a rule today, then its a rule tomorrow. Start slowly. She can't be perfect over night. Pick one or two things to work on this week, add a couple other things next week, etc. Example: If you know she doesn't want to go to bed and will throw a tantrum, give her a five minute warning and state the rule "When its time to go to bed, you will march upstairs quietly, we will read a book and you'll go to bed. If you throw a fit, it will be straight to bed with no book. Give a two minute warning and then follow through on the consequence if needed. If she does throw a fit, don't get mad or show your anger, just restate the rule and put her in bed with no book and leave. Also, catch her being good and praise, praise, praise.
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 4:12 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Also, distraction techniques and humor can help a lot too. You could add something funny to the march upstairs for bed, for instance. Tonight, "Lets pretend to be monkeys on the way to bed" and then make monkey sounds on the way. Sing a song. Do some hand motions...try to make it fun. If she still throws a tantrum, fun ends and consequences begin. Good Luck!
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 4:14 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • but I have nothing left. I've tried timeout in her room (cant SIT her somewhere because she wont stay and I CANT hold her there) tried offering something else (like mega blocks or reading a book instead of climbing onto the table or anything else thats dangerous,,, yogurt or sherbert instead of ice cream, etc etc) ignoring the tantrums or walking away, she just follows me or flips out even more (got 5 stitches in her head from flipping out in her room in a timeout, jumped of her bed and hit the bereau when she was 13mo.)warnings, spanking on the diaper, conciquences(?) if she doesnt use something properly or is going to break it i'll warn her and take it away if she refuses to listen or yells NO at me. when demanding stuff i tell her to be nice and say please, sometimes she does, but it takes ALOT just to get her to stop yelling and ask, just goes on and on, i dont know anymore....
    dragonbaby6

    Answer by dragonbaby6 at 4:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • its hard for me to discipline her, i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a year ago, she now weighs 50lbs, and ive been ordered not to pick her up (couldnt if i tried anyways) im in phsyical therapy twice a week to help strengthen my back so it doesnt hurt so much, with all the meds im on and have been put on more since my ex left, im on pain killers, muscle relaxers, anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds all together i have to take 16 pills a day just to be able to deal with all this and her, im looking to join a parent support group that provides childcare when i would go to the meetings, and getting hooked up with a program that would pay a babysitter for me up to 16hrs a month so i can go to doctors appts and such, might be going to a parent workshop for transitioning toddlers that will be starting headstart and preschool. ... i am the ONLY person she does this to and im trying to get help, just have to wait
    dragonbaby6

    Answer by dragonbaby6 at 5:22 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • This type of behavior is where you need to calm and consistent with you discipline. When my DD starts walking on the couch (we don't allow this btw) I ask her to sit down. If she does it again I ask her to sit down and explain that if she does it again then she will get down of the couch. It may be 10 or 15 mins before she does it again, but I follow through on my threat and put her down. You have to be the person in charge and show her that you are in charge. Right now she is running your household and you have to get back in control. When she throws a tantrum just ignore it and walk away. If she follows you and continues to scream just ignore it. She will eventually get tired of screaming and stop and the more consistent you are the quicker they will stop. We tell my LO that this behavior isn't acceptable. I'm sorry that you are going through this.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 6:58 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

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