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Is this crossing the line?

My son(12) has a female friend(who just turned 13) that lives down the block from us. They've been friends for years but we only knew her Stepmom because her Dad works crazy hours and was never around. Recently her Stepmom moved out. One night about 2 weeks ago we drove her home and no one was home. We felt very uncomfortable leaving her home alone but she told us he leaves her alone all the time since her Stepmom isn't there. She seemed a little scared so we told her she was welcome to stay at our house until her Dad got home. She called her Dad on her cell and asked and he said for her to tell us he'd be home shortly and that it was okay to leave her there alone. The other night around 9:30pm she was talking to our son on the phone and said she thought she heard someone walking around her property and she was freaked out. We offered to go over and check it out but she said no thanks. What would you do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I would check on her as much as possible and invite her to dinner a lot....try to be a extra family for her. Talk to her dad and tell him your family adores her company. Tell him you love to have her around.

    Then just keep an eye on her, sounds like she needs some support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • well, I would've gone over there- because if she was in danger and I knew, I'd never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to her. That's a really tough situation, though. Could you invite the two of them over to your house for dinner or something? That would be good if there was SOME way you could get to know that guy better. Then perhaps you could ask about her coming to your house after school. It MIGHT help if you give him some reason you need her there so he doesn't suspect that you feel she's not taken care of. Like, ask if she could start coming over to help your son with his homework- or some odd job, you could even pay her if you have the money. That way it'd be hard for him to say no... who wouldn't want their daughter to be able to do a little work and make some money, or help someone out? If he says no to that, I would guess maybe there's not much else you can do.
    AlleyK

    Answer by AlleyK at 5:29 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I would talk to the dad and tell him that you would feel better if she stayed with you while he is working, and he can come get her when he comes home. It keeps her safe and out of trouble. There is no reason, and if you are thinking he is worried about paying you for babysitting, you can disabuse him of that idea. She needs a good adult around.

    I am proud of you for wanting to help take care of this girl! Good for you! Blessings!
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 5:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I agree with 5:25 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 by: Anonymous , my son had a friend in the neighborhood with this similar issue, the kid use to wonder the streets at 10-11 p.m. at night. We started having him over for dinner, the kid ate at our house practically 5 days out of the week and when it was time to go home one of our older kids would walk him home to make sure he went in the house, and when the parents weren't home we would call.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 5:40 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Offer to watch her until he gets home and tell him that she is scared of being home alone.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 7:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2010