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If your underage daughter had an abortion without your concent...

what would you do then?

I was honestly shocked, although I don't know why, at the hateful and cruel answers on the "if your daughter was pregnant question" so here's a spin off. I was 15 the first time I got pregnant and because my mother was like most of you, I "spent the night at a friends" and when to the clinic... She still doesn't know because it really doesn't matter, we don't speak anyways. But I'm sure if she had found out then she would have simply had me 302ed again and thrown me back in to the mental hospital... (even though they kept telling her there was nothing wrong with me)

So what about you? What would you do if your daughter had an abortion behind your back? Would you support her choice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (51)
  • Well I would ask her where she got it done and schedule a follow up appointment with the OBGYN to ensure there is no infection, etc from a back alley doctor. Followed by a long heart to heart talk about her not coming to me about it.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 6:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I'd feel very hurt..but i'd also feel like i was the one at fault since I didn't make her feel safe enough to tell me about the abortion in the first place. I'd be a little disappointed in her, but i'd mostly feel like our relationship needed work.

    Answer by madamlinwe at 6:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • id wonder why she didnt just tell me she was pregnant. i was very close to my mom and when i got pregnant at 17 i told her. but i would have to suport her decision somewhat, considering it would have already been done. but i would try not to make her feel worse than she already did about the situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I had one without telling my mother but I was 20. I would hope that my daughter wouldn't need to lie to me about it. I would take her myself.

    Answer by Christina2135 at 6:35 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I had one at 17 and my parents still don't know about it.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • No, I wouldnt support her choice.

    Why? Because my underage daughter snuck behind my back and odds were good she lied to me.

    My children know to come to me in honesty about whatever is going on and if one of them went behind my back, esp. when the law says Im responsible for their actions, Id be pissed and we'd have a good ole talking to.

    Would I bitch her out for having the abortion that would depend on why she did it. If she can give me a logical, mature answer then Id be calm about it. If she did it out of peer pressure and cuz "the guy didnt want it" or some stupid reason like that...we'd be talking about sticking up for her OWN thoughts around her buddies.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • i would completely support her decision, but with some counseling. obviously she needs someone to talk to and her mother more in her life.

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Let me add, that I sure could have used their support at the time. coming home after that was the most difficult thing I ever went through. I was in so much emotional turmoil, and I had to hide it all from them.
    If I had parents who I could have gone too, my life would have been different, I am sure.
    People who think they can control their kids when it comes to this are fooling themselves. Kids will find a way to do what THEY want...its sad but true.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 6:40 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • If my undersigned daughter was able to kill her baby I would sue the living pants off PP for allowing it. I would immediately talk to her and ask her if she needed help and encourage her to join some support groups. I would call my cousin who was under aged when she had her abortion 22 years ago and is so riddled with guilt she doesn't think she deserves to be happy. I would ask her to my daughter and remind my daughter she was way too young to make this decision and I am sorry someone took over my job as a parent. I would explain the law to her and why PP is paying for helping an under aged child do this when they had no place.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • my daughter is very much against the killing of babies so I know it wouldn't happen. I raised her to make good choices and work through the consequences of her actions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

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