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Please no bashing or rude comments! Are there any mothers who ff one baby and bf the other??

My dd was formula fed (I tried to bf but really couldn't handle it and had no support much less any family when she was born), we still did skin to skin and have a great bond but I would like to try breastfeeding our second. Problem is, I feel guilty to even try and succeed if it didn't work for dd. Besides that, I'm allergic to so much and sick constantly but dd is never sick. She did however get my peanut allergy at a much lower reaction... I just want to hear from mothers who have done both with different kids and see why they made their choice, how they feel after the fact?? BTW, dd latched fine, no pain but I wasn't prepared I think..

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • No, but I suggest joining the breastfeeding moms group. there are tons of helpful women who have had this experience.

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 6:43 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • You are never going to equally give things to your kids. If bf works for you this time, do it! If it doesn't, fine, too. I would never make a choice just because I could or couldn't do something with my first. I had to give formula to my first a bit, but I dont' feel guilty that I didn't have to with my second, and I certainly would have given her a bottle here and there to "even things out." I do the best I can with each kid, and that's that.

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 6:51 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I had my DD a month after my 18th birthday. Of coarse I had intended on trying to BF but everything changed! I made the mistake of allowing DD's fathers mother in the room and she took over from the start so I never really had the chance to try. Being a teenager I felt like I had no say i n whatever went on, I let her ruin it for me and my DD, I feel so guilty about it too. Plus I had no privacy and at that age I was very modest and she stayed in my face and the babies face so I'm sure if the baby was going to BF she would have been right there trying to taste the milk (ugh b****)! But anyways I have moved on and I now have a 5 week old and I breastfeed him and it is the best bonding experience. I was torn between the decisions before he was born because DH wanted me to BF but I felt guilty because I didn't BF DD but I decided to BF DS and wouldnt change it for anything! She knows mom loves her and lil brother the same!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I had to Formula Feed my first. She was three days old and would still not latch on ....I couldn't listen to her "hungry cry" anymore, so I gave in and gave her a bottle. I continued to try to get her to latch on for the next serveral days. I was told how "awful" it was that I was formula feeding her by some family memebers, but it is what it is!!! She's happy and healthy....
    When my second daughter came along (15 months later!) she latched on immediately!!! She was Breast Fed for about 11 months. My son (3 1/2 years later) latched on in the first 2 hours and he was Breastfed for about 7 1/2 months and did also take a bottle of formula in a couple of "hectic-emergency" cases!

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 7:00 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I breastfed my son til he was 22 months, but I only breastfed my daughter til she was 4 months, due to conflicts with work. (Florida has no laws currently protecting a breastfeeding mother's right to pump at work, or if they do then they're new on the books.) My boss refused to let me take more than 1 break (my lunch break) to pump, so I lost my supply, and WIC wouldn't give me an electric pump because I couldn't pump more than once a day at work. So I put her on formula at 4 months. I felt like shit about it for quite a while, but she's a happy, healthy baby at 15 months now and is on whole milk rather than formula now. Do I wish I had been able to breastfeed her longer? Totally. It just was the choice between quit my job and get evicted so I could breastfeed, or put her on formula.

    Answer by LokisMama at 7:01 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Yep...some of mine were and some weren't, I don't regret any of my choices, I did what was right for me and my family, and if FF was what worked that's what we did and if BF'ing worked that's what we did. Never feel guilty for making the best choice you can.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 7:15 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I BF my first but not my 2nd and 3rd due to medical issues, all 3 are healthy.

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 7:20 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I BF my first from a bottle for the first month.....she was in the NICU and I COULDNT BF her. It PISSES me OFF to NO END when people act like if you dont BF your child FROM your breast you are somehow NEVER going to bond with them. Its a load. My 2nd came 12 months after the first and I was a LITTLE overwhelmed and ONLY FF. They are BOTH extremely healthy, Honor roll kids, who love me very very much and have always been bonded. I think people flip out over this too much and act like mothers who dont BF are just this side of Satan. You will be fine and so will your children and unless you raise them to be completely selfish little brats they are NOT going to be mad about this issue.

    Answer by momof030404 at 7:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I ff my first 2. Didn't try to BF with the first but did with the second. It did not work. I like you had no support and really didn't know what I was doing so out came the bottles. With number 3 I bf, he had a reaction to all formula's tried so at 3 days old we started bfing.. i feel no different about any of them. I do not feel guilty for not bfing the first 2, sometimes it works out sometimes it doesn't. Just do the best you can do...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 7:33 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • I FF'd my first (bad support when I attempted breastfeeding) and breastfed my second for 2 years. Honestly, breastfeeding my youngest helped alleviate a lot of the guilt I personally had over "failing" with my first. Here's how I thought about it: if I felt guilty about my experience with my first, how would choosing the inferior choice make me feel better? It wouldn't. I've accepted that part of my parenting journey is learning from my mistakes and doing better the next time. :)

    Answer by asaffell at 8:22 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

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