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Does anyone else's DH/SO do this?

He feels the need to fix EVERYTHING! I tell him I'm sad; he wants to fix it. I'm mad; he wants to fix it. He can never just say "I understand how you feel" or "I'm sorry you feel that way; it'll get better". I love that he loves me and wants me to be happy and wants to do anything he can to make me happy, but WHY can't he understand that sometimes I don't WANT him to fix it, I just want him to LISTEN to me and BE THERE? I tried to explain that to him, and he just doesn't seem to understand. I try to look at it as a good thing, but sometimes he just drives me crazy!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Apr. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • mine does the same thing. they are just trying to be good husbands. and usually he does a great job of making me feel better.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:48 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Men are fixers, it is what they do. :-) I make it a point to tell my husband that I need a venting time- just to hear me out.

    Ever read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Oldie, but a goodie and discusses this in great detail. :-)
    HistoryMamaX3

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 9:50 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • duh

    men are fixers, not understanders.

    completely normal, when you learn to live with it and get support elsewhere or make something up you'll be great

    use that time to ask him to fix something or do something for you. chinese food, leaky sink, change a diaper, whatever.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:51 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Men are trained to "fix" things from very early on. Unless you TELL him that you want him to just listen, he will continue to try and "fix". They think it's their job. Just tell him, he'll get it eventually.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 9:51 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Nope, mine would tell me to deal with it and he'd walk away
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Mine used to. But then I started doing it to him. He can't stand it. Now I can't stop. So, now it drives him crazy. My advice in situations like this it to give them a dose of their own medicine.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 10:06 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • Because he is a man and thats what men do; they fix stuff.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 10:32 PM on Apr. 12, 2010

  • No, not at all... He's not a fixer I suppose. He knows I just like to gripe and have him listen and then I'll get over it.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:38 AM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • It may be annoying at times, but it's very caring and loving of him to want to do that. It's his way of showing you how he loves you. From now on, tell him up front, I want to vent to you and you don't need to do anything but hug me and then tell him what is troubling you.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:43 AM on Apr. 13, 2010

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