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What is a tactful way to ask this question?

My dad and us (siblings) feel awkward around our dad...anyway he doesn't. He remarried a woman who caused A LOT of drama, anyway he is in very bad health and my husb suggested I ask if he has a will...how the heck would I ask my dad that without seeming like oh yeah hurry and die so I can have your shit, cause that's not what I'm about...but I really don't want my great grandmother's home and everything in it (which his new wife lives in) to go to his new wife...Thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Apr. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • So you're not close to your Dad, but are concerned with his possessions? I'm sure they'll go to his wife.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 2:22 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • He is your dad, and you should not feel wierd asking-many time people don't think about that until it is too late, and then people don't know what they really wanted. He might want it to go to his new wife anyway, and I don't think you can do anything about it.

    Maybe tell him what you guys want and how much it would mean to you.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • sigh can't explain whole thing on the internet, he is close to us, but he's always been overbearing and abusive growing up...his wife said to her daughter that she's going to stick it out only a little longer (b/c he's dying soon) I DON't WANT my grandmother's things going in the garbage-which is where she would put it. Pics and things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Dad I know this is not something that you really want to think about let alone have to prepare for but, I do think it would be a good idea if we started getting your affairs in order. I don't want to seem insensitive but upon dealing with losing you I would not want to have worry about your estate, Dad I love you and I want to see that your wishes are going to met.

    Ps. Im sorry to hear that your father is not well but yes good idea to get things started now rather then to after deal with in mourning.
    debmom07

    Answer by debmom07 at 2:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I agree with debmom07 sorry to hear about your dad OP, and sorry for some useless insensitive responses you may get.
    Apr1l

    Answer by Apr1l at 2:28 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • ok so you just go to your dad and say dad we know your health is not the best in the world and we are all wondering how would like for your estate to be handled...then i would imagine if he wanted you to know anything whether theres a will or not he will tell you..but my guess would be that hes going to give everything to her unless yall are close..i hope everything works out for ya tho..sometimes these are tough situations it makes things hard when an outsider is involved..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I would go about it by saying how specail your grandmother was and how, when he dies, it would be a special thing for you to be able to have her home and her belongings.

    sandypops

    Answer by sandypops at 2:28 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I wuld try telling him that certain things are precious beyond a monetary value to you and your siblings and you would really like to see those things stay in the family. I doubt he'll hand over the house for nothing, but you could ask him to buy the house from his estate for a reduced amount, so his wife will at least have a small nest egg to help her out. . But if I were you I wouldn't bash the wife to anybody.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 2:29 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Also you can ask for pictures and family mementos now.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 2:32 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I like how debmom put it, or if worse comes to worst, lie. "Dad, we've been working on our wills, and it just occurred to me to wonder if you've made one, or if not, if you'd like some help getting one done. Especially with your health the way it is, I know it might seem overwhelming now. I know it was for us, so I just thought I'd ask."
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:32 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

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