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How to keep my hubby from being a recession widower?

I need to find a job that I can pay my debts. I am currently working entry level (a job between jobs). I lost my job in November. I have been looking for a job for a long time.

I am having a hard time finding my feet in the Kansas City area. I asked my hubby if we can move to Texas, where there's a job calling for my field. He said he doesn't want to, because he doesn't want to leave his job in Kansas. I feel that his job skills can tranfer very well in any type of law enforcement. He won't listen.

I feel that if I don't find a substantial and stable job to pay the amount that I owe, he'll potentially divorce me. (He said at one time he actually considered it, but changed his mind because of our time together and that I'm trustworthy. )

Seems that debt is more enduring than love, since money problems is the most common reason for divorce. I'm scared.

Thanks in advance

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • He sounds unloving and not someone to depend upon. I say take life into your own hands, and apply for the job. If you get it, accept it and leave. If he wants, he can go with you. If not, you will have a good job and be free of someone who does not deserve you.

    Answer by popcornlover at 3:32 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Wow, you don't actually have the job, but you want him to leave his job. It is very hard to even guess since we have no details. Why don't you try living apart for a little while. Maybe six month away will give you enough experience to find a job in KC. I don't even know what you are trained to do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • And there are kids in this mix?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I agre with the last person... You are asking him to leave his job because you MIGHT have a job there? Absolutely not! I'd probably leave you too if I was him. Debt is serious. How did you get into it by yourself? And why in the world would you want to just pick up and move on the whim that you might have a job?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • OP here,

    I have job skills, but they are a remainder of the former tech bubble. Kansas City economy is falling apart big time. If I go back to school, I will either have to pay out-of-pocket or get an unsecured private loan (I don't own any equity). Either way, I still have to have a sustaining income.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • OP here,

    Dear Anon :39,

    Should I slash my wrists now? :*-(

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I suggest you work on your debt by paying larger chunks toward the principle instead of min monthly payments. That will get it paid off quicker. Moving would cost a lot of money that could be better spent on paying toward the debt as well. My dd had a min wage job and paid off all of her debts that way and then started on paying off her house by making double payments (2 principle payments per month not two whole payments per month). It can be done. If your man would leave you over money then he's not worth having anyway. JMHO

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:48 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Look into Dave Ramsey! their are groups on here and his plan is a great way to get out of debt. Their is no guarantee you will find a better job in Texas. If you are happy with your husband and he is happy and employed where you are now it may be good to stay put. have you stopped adding to the debt? can you live off what you make and work an wkend job to pay off debt? I clean an office building, it takes a few hours on the wkend but it gives me an extra $200 month. Every little bit helps. It's good you are looking at all of your options but your relationship is important. Can you cut out all extras while you pay down debt?

    Answer by ria7 at 4:10 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • im sorry but i do think if he has a job and you dont right now stay where he can work while you look for a job and if you want to move to tx then if you can go a look and if you get one in tx that might be a differnet story and my hubby and i had debt before we got together and we are helping each other out right now we work on his we have a 4 more bills to pay and know were working on mine which is going to take at lest a year to pay off maybe even 2 but as of Nov we have a extra 500 a month to help on paying off bills and for me getting a job is also hard cause i have a diploma or ged After our daughter is born in July im going back to school to get my GED sent i cant get a diploma now cause im 22

    the thing is he should also help you out too cause im sure you would help him out but i dont know much on you two to say more i do hope things work out for you and good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I would say that if he can't be supportive of you in any circumstance, and seems to care more about your debt than the love you supposedly share.. then he's not worth it and I'd do what you need to do to take care of yourself and put yourself in a better situation.

    Answer by kristal2146 at 4:34 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

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