Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i know its not just about the sex?

how do i know that? our lives are pretty busy, so we dont really get to see each other that much- just 3 times a week. but every time, he wants to have sex. i know sex is a BIG part of a healthy relationship.. but now, i think its just about the sex :-(

how do i find out if its NOT just about the sex without really taking the sex out of the relationship?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Invite him to do things during the day, when sex is not an option, like going in public or shopping. If he tries to get out of it, then you have your answer.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 4:55 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Do you talk to each other when you don't see each other? What do you talk ABOUT? If it's about sex...then it's about the sex.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:55 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Men equate sex with love. Just talk to him and see if he feels that way. He may be trying to express his love for your via sex.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • we just talk about the next time we see each other and maybe a few minutes on how our day was.. the phone convo's never last more than 10 minutes, most times its less than 5. (its mainly cuz i hate talking on the phone)

    he works between 9am-6pm, or 11 to 7 or 1-9:30. we live about 35 minutes away from each other, so some days- when he gets off at 6 or 7pm, he'll come over and leave a hour before work.. but some of those days, i have class from 6-11pm, so he might come at 11, we do our thing, go to sleep and then he'll have to leave at 8am to get to work
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • If you see him 3 nights a week, make 1 night a no-sex night. If he can't do it, then it's about sex. You should be able to have time to talk and be with each other and not have sex
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:37 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • small update: so saturday night is our crazy sex night. everyone from the apartment was gonna be gone, so me and him were gonna have sex EVERYWHERE. but tonight- was supposed to be the night where we tease each other. he was supposed to be here around 11. its midnight now. i HATE when i get played. :-(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • small update: so saturday night is our crazy sex night. everyone from the apartment was gonna be gone, so me and him were gonna have sex EVERYWHERE. but tonight- was supposed to be the night where we tease each other. he was supposed to be here around 11. its midnight now. i HATE when i get played. :-(

    i wanted to add: now, i question WHAT this relationship is about. i questioned if it was just about the sex... now, he's not showing up for a small sex/teasing session (we both know we'd be having sex tonight!). i dont know WHAT to think anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • There are a couple ways of knowing. do you spend time outside of sex together. And that time NOT leading up to sex? Is there a lot of touching outside of sex or the time leading up to sex? Do you talk to each other during the days when you don't see each other? Are the conversations meaningful? etc etc.

    Maybe he didn't show up because he's tired or got held up. Sounds like he has a crazy schedule.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I think if you can go a week or two without sex, still have a great time together, laugh, talk and just be together without it. Its not all about the sex.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 10:58 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN