Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I could use some encouraging words... :(

It has been day to say the least with my 15 month old. He recently has started hitting and I am doing all I know to do to try to teach him its not nice nor is it acceptable to hit anyone. Today I would ask him not to hit me and he would turn around and hit me again.(It doesn't hurt just not something I want my son doing) Also I work at the daycare he attends and he was hitting the children a lot more today than he ever has. I literally breaks my heart to think that I am not a good parent...I know that I am and I am sure this is just a stage that he is gonna just have to go through and learn but its so heartbreaking to me. It got to the point where I just about broke down and cried today b/c I was so stressed out over it. My friend who owns the daycare took him outside so I could have a breather but I don't want to have to have days like this everyday. :( If you have any encourging words, please share. I could use them

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • you poor thing! it is a stage i promise but something you need to nip in the bud.what worked with my kids was smacking them on the hand and saying in a stern voice that is not acceptable behavior and it hurts my feelings when u do this,then put him in a time out a min for every yr he may have to keep taking him back to his timeout spot but he will get it then when he has sat quietly for his time out tell him again why he was there tell him u love him but everytime he does that he will b sitting there,he is testing his limits with u thats all,seeing what he can get away with,i hope this helps,it may take time to b effective especially if u have never punished him before,but its rewarding good luck,god bless :)

    Answer by coffeefreak996 at 6:26 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • can he be at a diff daycare?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • OP Here: I won't put him in a different daycare mainly b/c my friend doesn't charge me to have him there. And thank you moms for the encouragement. I do smack his hand, spank him, put him in time out, and/or tell him its not acceptable and even have him going to the other children and doing the "I'm sorry" sign laungage b/c he doesn't talk well yet while saying it repeatedly that he is sorry. I hope this passes soon

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • Teach him how to touch "nicely".

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I have found that when I hit DS, he is way more agressive. Hitting begets hitting and actions speak louder than words. It's telling him that hitting is okay as long as your bigger than the person being hit even if your words are saying that it's not okay to hit. Remove him from the situation and put him in time out. Tell him that hands are for nice touches and hitting is not okay. Then put him in time out for 90 seconds. It will take time. DS is 3 and just started this phase. :( it's hard as a mom for your kid to be seen as the bully. I know how you feel.

    Answer by vances_mom at 9:06 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • well, for a 15 month old I would stop hitting as discipline your teaching him that when someone does something you don't like it's acceptable to hit them. You can try immediatly removing yourself from him, when my son was about 10 months he went through the biting phase I would say no biting set him down and walk away for about a minute, within a week he had stopped. You can try telling him it hurts you and ask him to do gentle touches then demonstrate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I have a 23 month old boy, and we still go through this. I know it's so frustrating and all women feel that we must be doing something wrong as a mom. I'm sure that's not the case and I'm sure you've heard "it's a phase," but it really is. For the next few years he will test you to see how you react and what he can get away with. Not that I'm any expert at all, but I've found that being as consistant as possible works for us. My husband and I struggle with being on the same page, but we know it's what is best for our son. I also use A TON of positive reinforcement, for example when I catch him being nice to the cat and NOT pulling her tail I make a really big deal of how nice he's being. He seems to get very proud of him self and loves the extra attention. On the flip side, when he's being mean or hitting I tell him "no, that's not nice." and if he's hitting me I move to another room and completly ignore him until he's

    Answer by Julians_Momma at 9:44 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • finished with his temper tantrum. Then I ask him "are you all done?" once he's stopped crying or screaming (YES, my son is a screamer!) I cover him with affection. It breaks my heart to have to ignore him, or let him work it out on his own but it has worked for us. As moms we always want to fix the situation, but sometimes the best thing we can do is teach them how to work it out on their own.
    Yesterday we had an awesome day, he was so sweet and affectionate.....those days make up for any bad day.
    I also suggest a lot of prayer and supportive friends and family to keep you encouraged. We have a great moms group that I attend, which helps me a lot.
    Best wishes!!

    Answer by Julians_Momma at 9:52 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.