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Ok, so....My daughter came home from school awhile back

and asked if she could be in the young writers conference, she was to attend a conference with a piece of writing and she would receive a certificate and prize and get to do some fun workshops. Before we agreed we all discussed what would be expected of her in order for her to be able to attend this conference. She is 12 years old and she clearly understood that she would need to keep up her grades on her school assignments and tests as well as her behavior needs to be good. We all agreed. She got an "F" on her math test...turns out none of the kids took the test serious including her, because there was a substitute!!!WHAT? she studied the night before, and I just don't understand how someone who studies for a test received an "F".
She now can not attend the writers conference...and she just does not seem to understand why. Would you allow your child to attend under the same circumstances? how would you handle it?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Apr. 13, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think you are doing the right thing- stay strong momma!!!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 6:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • the conference sounds educational, if it were a rock concert no she couldn't go. i don't understand i guess.

    Answer by staciandababy at 6:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • no, I wouldn't. Keep up your end...
    It seems fishy that a substitute would be administering a test....

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • well . . .  either she's going to hate you for a while for "ruining her life", or you going to hate yourself for a while for not standing your ground. you have to pick your battles. good luck lol


    Answer by bestmommyeber at 6:58 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I would not count a test by a substitute. They sometimes come in with something to prove and it costs the kids. She's your child. You do what you think is right. You know her better than anyone. You know if she tries and if she studies. I would not punish her for this. It's not like she's wanting to go to the prom or spend the night with friends. She wants to hone her skill at writing. Then again I'm a Writing teacher so I think it would suck if she missed this opportunity. We learn from our failures in life (or we can). I think she learned a valuable lesson in this test the sub came up with. I bet she doesn't allow herself to be caught short again so it's all good. Again, I would allow her to go to the conference.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:59 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I would let her go to the conference but maybe take away something else. Like, you can go but no TV or computer next week.

    Answer by Jjoneslagrange at 7:28 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I disagree with letting her go, if you agreed in advance and she understood and she got a bad grade then it's a deal breaker. She won't learn anything if you just take away tv and or something. She agreed she would not attend this specific fun thing if she did not comply with getting good grades, test, behavior etc.....


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I wouldn't let her go. I don't care if bobo the clown is teaching my son's class he better act as if it was his regular teacher in there. She knew what she had to do to go but she decided not to listen and to mess around when she should have been serious. If you let her go now she will be pushing for all kinds of things. You need to stand your ground.


    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 9:15 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I wouldn't have set that condition in the first place....and I wouldn't take away the conference as a punishment. The conference is something good and positive. She still earned that....I don't see the connection to a math test. The grade on the math test IS the punishment itself. I think you are probably right for sticking with what you told her would happen, but I am just saying that would never have been a threat in my house. I would address the poor grade separately... I guess we just have different philosophies on this subject. Every kid is different and I know my son has to work really hard in school, and that is not to be a straight A student or always on the honor roll. So if he earned something special like that, I would never take it away. If I needed to give him a consequence, it would be something else. I like to build on positives!

    Answer by BJoan at 10:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • I would still let her go, she flunked ONE test. It happens and doesn't mean she is going to be a screwup. She is 12. It is not like she is asking to go to a concert, it is an EDUCATIONAL opportunity that can do a world of good for her and her education. I would NEVER take away an educational thing, EVER.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:18 PM on Apr. 13, 2010