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Should I Feel Guilty?

I am 8 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and I have already decided that I want to breastfeed. However, I have a 4 year old and when I had him I was a lot younger and the thought of breastfeeding kind of freaked me out so I didn't do it. I'm feeling guilty for wanting to breastfeed this one and not doing it for my first. Please no bashing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Apr. 13, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • Don't feel guilty. You change things about the way you parent every time you have a child. Nothing to feel guilty about, you matured more and are ready for it. Nothing about that should make you feel guilty hun.

    Answer by Hezekiahs_mom at 11:49 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • All of our first-borns have to deal with mom and dad learning how to be parents, and the second and later-borns reap the benefits of mom and dad having already learned a lot of things they didn't know with the first.

    It's something to just get used to and accept. You'll probably end up doing a lot of things differently with your second kid. It's better to focus on having learned, rather than drowning yourself in guilt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • no worries. your 4 year old doesnt remember that you did not breastfeed him. why do you feel guilty? he is healthy i am sure. as will your new baby be. there may be some differences between breastmilk and formula but your baby gets the right nutrition either way. tthere is no need for guilt.

    Answer by cassie_m at 11:54 PM on Apr. 13, 2010

  • NO. Good luck and congrats on your decision!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • No, do not feel guilty. Not only will your new baby be getting the benefits of breastfeeding, but your 4 year old will be learning about it at the same time. We all have things that we wish we could do differently in the past, but we can only change our future. :)

    Answer by squish at 3:00 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Don't feel guilty. I tried to BF both of mine, but there were numerous issues. I was freaked out at first w/ my oldest b/c I thought it was gross... but right before he was born, I changed my mind. My only regret is that I didn't try for longer w/ them.

    I'm pregnant again and plan to try to BF this one. I'm much busier now (work FT and attend nursing school at night) but I plan to try longer this go 'round.

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 10:12 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • As you said, you were younger then, so don't feel like you are giving more to this baby than you did to the older one. I certainly advocate for breastfeeding but it doesn't make you a bad mom if you don't. I have nursed my three older kids but I find that I really don't want to nurse this one. I am going to, but emotionally I question if that is the best choice for me and baby because I didn't plan this baby and I am so stressed out. I question if it will cause more stress. Best of luck and just enjoy the now...

    Answer by littlebehr1 at 2:38 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

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