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Question for moms who have big age gaps between children (like 5yrs or more)

And i don't mean 5 years from first to last child if you have more then two. I mean you have a 5yr old and an infant with no child in between (or whatever your age gap might be, that's just an example).

by the time i have my first child, DS2 (who is my stepson) will probably be around 6 years old. I didn't really want such a large age gap between children because i was not ever really close with my older brother when growing up (he's 7 years older then me, BUT i also have an older sister who is younger then he is).

What is your favorite thing about the age difference?
What is the most difficult thing?
Do you like the age gap?
Did you plan it that way?
What should i know that you wish someone would have told you before?

I wanted more like a 2-4 year age gap. But that can't happens sense DS2 is already almost 4 1/2 and i'm not even prego. lol

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 12:04 AM on Apr. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I say it is all about your family dynamics. How you raise your children. My children are 24, 19, 16, 4 and 3. All 5 of them are extremely close! With the exception of my last two who are only 13 months apart, my children are spaced nicely...and on some occasions far apart. We have always felt the importance of sticking together as a family. Age differences just never really entered into it. Maybe that was in part by the particular sex's of children I had. My oldest is a boy, then 2 girls and then 2 more boys. I liked the age gap, I think it was much harder in the begining with the two that are only 13 months apart. My kids had their fair share of squabbles, but nothing out of the ordinary. I have been blessed with wonderful children. Now that some of them are grown, it warms my heart to see them still so close and doing things with one another.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • my oldest 2 are 5 years apart....i did plan it that way. because at that age they can help.. i love that my 8 year old, Lilly, guides her sister, Olivia who is 3. she has taught her how to pick matching outfits, helped me potty train, helped teach her to ride a bike, so many things.

    my baby is only 2 years younger that olivia and it is far harder to have them close together. by the time i had olivia, lilly was in kindergarten and it was like having the time you spend with your first......when lexi was born and olivia was only 2 it got alot harder. first because i now had 2 kids that needed everything from me. a 2 year old cant even wipe there own butt thoroughly. and second because a 2 year old wants to help with all the things that they cant help with.....llike poopy diapers....or thinkling it would be good to share a pbandj with her 3 month old sister.......
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 12:12 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I had my 1st and 2nd, 4yrs apart...that was a good age but then I had my 3rd a yr after the 2nd.......my 4th came 11 yrs after the 3rd.
    My 2nd and 3rd kids are very close.
    my 2 babies that are 11 yrs apart well it is kinda nice because my 17 yr old tells her 5 yr old brother what is not nice to say or do..she gets him drinks and food and takes him for walks or to the park..she will be in the 12th grade when he is in kindergarten. she will be taking him to school and picking him up...well they have a school that is k-thru-12 in one building so that helps.
    my other 2 girls who are 18 and 23 aren't as interested...it is more like he is a toy, and when they are done witrh him they want to move on...but the 17 yr old is just super! with her little brother.
    I also know a family who have 3 kids, ages 15,9 and 3...and they all get along good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • What is your favorite thing about the age difference?


    That it was easier to spend time with the older one during naps and stuff.


    What is the most difficult thing?


    Not being able to go to the park and run around with my older one.


    Do you like the age gap?


    It's good in some ways bad in others


    Did you plan it that way?


    No but it's what happened


    What should i know that you wish someone would have told you before?


    That older kids sometimes don't like helping with things like they show on tv and sometimes they don't like having a new baby around.

    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 12:59 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I forgot to put that my 1st and 2nd are 5 years and 5 months apart. My 2nd and 3rd are 21 months apart and my 3rd and 4th will be 15 months apart if all goes well. I like the bigger gap better but I would have rather had 3 to 4 years instead.

    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 1:25 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • My children are 14 yrs apart and I love it. I love that the 14 yr old isnt jealous and loves him little brother. I love that the baby thinks his big bro is great. they will never fight over toys, food friends, etc. I do regret my kids do not have a sib close in age, for someone to play with but realistically, my bro and I were 2 yrs apart and I dont know how we didnt kill each other. I had so much more patience with the second, more knowledge...I wouldnt change it for the world actually-each of my kids will get to be my "only" baby for a long time.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:46 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I don't think it will really matters until they get into their teens and start going out on their own. My boys are 7 and 2 and they get along just fine. Like any other siblings, the oldest is annoyed by the youngest sometimes, but that could happen even if there were a day age difference.
    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 3:04 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • What is your favorite thing about the age difference? That the older ones can help out, and do!
    What is the most difficult thing? That the older ones always want to be going and doing things that either the baby can't do, or just aren't convenient with a little one (theme parks, water parks, playgrounds during nap time, etc)
    Do you like the age gap? No
    Did you plan it that way? Yes and No - my older 3 are from my ex husband, and then I married a man who had never had kids, so we did plan to have kids together, but I would never have "planned" to have my kids so far apart.
    What should i know that you wish someone would have told you before? I can't think of anything.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:51 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • What is your favorite thing about the age difference? One is already a big kid. No two babies at the same time. Only one in diapers.
    What is the most difficult thing? They want to do different things sometimes.
    Do you like the age gap?YES!
    Did you plan it that way?  Yep.
    What should i know that you wish someone would have told you before? It's really hard to get used to no sleep again.

    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 6:34 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

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