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when you want a baby and your husband doesnt...

I think I have always known I want 3 kids ( there has been some points where I have felt like I was done with just my 2...but after a few days that fades) .... I just feel like I am missing one ( does that make sense?)

I want them close together and I just feel that right now is the perfect time to start trying for another ( it was hard to get pregnant before) ......my husband says there is no way he wants another....

I just dont know what to do or say.... this has been a long battle...

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glamomomo

Asked by glamomomo at 12:18 AM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 11 (568 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Heh, tell him you got an IUD and get pregnant. It's really not that hard to get around it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Anonymous. I don't think deception is ever a good idea in a marriage. Plus, they are MARRIED...living together. Not dating and living in separate homes. They are almost for sure on the same insurance and handle bills together...I think he'd know whether or not she visited the doctor and their insurance was or was not billed for an IUD. If you were joking...then you could have given some actual advice as opposed to being sarcastic and wasting her time.

    OP-
    All I can tell you is to talk to your husband. Have dinner with him alone one night and tell him that you know he feels that he's done having kids and you respect that but you feel that you are missing something and you've felt strongly about this for a long time. Talk to him about why it would be the best time to try, why you want to and make sure you can prove that you are financially and emotionally ready for another little one! GL =)
    jcarvalho

    Answer by jcarvalho at 12:38 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I want another after this on is born. I have always wanted 4 kids. Maybe you can negoatiat? Maybe he would be ok with it if you waited a few more years? DH and I have agreed that this will be it until I am out of school and have good paying job I will work for 2-3 years to save up money for the stuff we will need for the year or two that I will be home with the new baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I actually had to pay for my IUD out of pocket. /shrug
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • well when my 1st daughter was 3 I wanted another but my husband at the time said he wanted his kids 6 yeears apart, that way one is in school and I can enjoy them one at a time...well I was 6 years apart from my sister and we didn't like eachother until our 20's.
    So I got pregnant on purpose...she was born 4 yrs after the first and hubby liked it and we were all happy...I just had to have another!! he didn't know it but baby no. was on purpose! so even though he may not have wanted to have them...I am the one that carries them and pushes them out I will decide when I want to have them
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I meant baby no. 3 was on purpose
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I've always wanted more kids myself I come from a big family where my aunts & cousins have between 3-6 kids I've talked to my husband abot having more kids he has said no and I'm going to respect his decision so this friday I'm going to the doctors to talk about getting fixed because of all the stress I've been under these days I don't think having another baby would be a good Idea talk to your husband and both of yu sit down and talk about the pro's and con's of havig another baby and see what both of you come up with and I wish both you and your all the best .
    lolipop178689

    Answer by lolipop178689 at 12:51 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • This should have been discussed prior to marriage, but since you are now in your situation the best thing to do is to talk about it. Why does he not want another? Is it finances? The responsibility of another? Sleep?

    I wanted another baby when my boys were 20 months old, but DH wasn't ready, so I got a puppy instead. We are just now ready, 2 years after I was ready to TTC.

    Deceiving him is NOT the way to go.
    twin_mommy

    Answer by twin_mommy at 1:00 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • The "number of kids" discussion is one you are supposed to have before marriage. Did you? If so, what changed? Because you really need to come up with something very powerful to change the original agreement. This is a marriage breaker.

    If you DIDN'T discuss it beforehand, then go over the pros and cons together. Men like that. And be prepared to find that you might change your mind.

    I like a line written by Sheryl Crow...It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got. I wanted two. Ended up with one. Thbought that would make me incomplete...but nope. Not a bit. Because I remember to appreciate what I DOI have and forget worrying about what I DON'T. What you don't have isn't all that important most of the time.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:00 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Just wait it out. Maybe one day he will want another one. But if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be, you know? I don't think you'd want him deceiving you or pressuring you on an issue so don't do the same to him.
    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 2:20 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

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