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Would you do it?

My dh works and I work too but I stay home and babysit I have been doing this for 7 yrs. but now I want something different my dh said that if I can learn to keep the house spotless (yeah right) I can just stay home and be at home but yet he doesn't want me running the streets even though in my eyes I'd be running errands but to him he'll think I am just having fun...oh brother he is just this way (insecure, jealous etc.) I mean I can do what I have to do I just have run by him which I think is bullshit but oh well so would you continue to babysit or do something else regardless of what he is saying or doing. (I don't like the way he is but what can I do)???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Wow, dont listen to all the man hating woman, you have a good man, you know it, dont leave him. Seriously if any problem in a marriage pops up people are always going to say leave. I tell my husband everything I am doing, and he expects a clean house as well. Its not that hard when you get to stay at home, discuss it with him, I dont blame him for not wanting you to be out having fun when the responsibilities have not been taken care of at home. Thats a fair thing for him to say. Would you want him to not work and just go do what he wants? Take a week to show him the benifits that he will get if you get to do what you want. Take care of him, make it worth while to him. He wants you to be an equal participator in the relationship, not that you arent, but he wants to make sure it stays that way. Read "in praise of stay at home moms" it has some good advice for others in your situation. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Would be hard to stay home with him on your back all the time. I would rather watch kids or get a regular job then have to answer to someone who has unreasonable expectations. He needs to get a book and learn about jealousy. You are a grown woman and if you are respecting him and not going places that you shouldnt then you should be free to live as you please.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:29 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • It sounds like your DH is a bit controlling. It would be very hard for me to put up with something like that. If I were you just try to talk to him about your feelings toward the situation. If you can't get anything out of him, then you will have to make a decision for yourself. (which is what you should be able to do anyway)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • yeah, sounds like you have a control freak. This could probably become very abusive if you step outside your boundaries. I wouldnt put up with it
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:36 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Well if you want to work, I would go and get a job, that is if you need the money, if not, I bet the house would be cleaner with just you and your kiddos in it! Do you enjoy babysitting? Is he afraid you might meet a man or something? I think this is your choice and I would do what I felt was the best choice for my hapiness!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:40 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Thank you ladies but what can I do I don't want to leave him he is a very good man in other areas when and where it counts I don't want to leave and find someone who is the opposite of him and he is not a good worker I guess it just balances out somehow...I just wish he wouldn't be so whatever you want to call it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • sounds like you need a boost of self confidence then you will see what you deserve and what slime he is for not being a good worker to provide for you and also for not letting you do what you desire.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:05 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Go ahead and give the staying home thing a try. It's quite easy to keep the house clean for your hubby especially without a lot of kids running around. I can understand that he wouldn't want you just "having fun" all day but obviously that's not your intention. Try it and see how it both works for you. New situations are scary for control freaks so after he gets used to you being a full time SAHM he'll warm up to the idea.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:19 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like an asshole. Drop his ass like a bad habit! He's not going to change and this is a form of mental abuse. I have a friend right now who is with an idiot and I get so sick of her, "blah, blah, blah, he said this and that and blah, blah, blah...He's saying mean things, He won't get a real job, blah blah blah....." Then sticks up for him when anyone offers to help her. Plan on losing a lot of friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • LOSE THAT MAN!!!!! I swear, I wish my husband would tell me i HAD to do this.. or I HAD to do that.. Luckily we both work but even if I didn't.. he STILL wouldn't be one to tell me what i can and can't do .. That's BS right there! Sounds like you need a back bone and stand up to the jerk.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Apr. 14, 2010