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How do i emotionally support my boyfriend when i am 36 wks. preg.????

so i've been with my bf for 18 mo. i am about 36 wks. and we are going through some really hard times. he is a head cook at a small restraunt, he goes to college part time, and does so much that i am very grateful. recently i have been getting next to no hours at my job so we've been comming up short on rent and bill yet still making it by (barely) i feel bad because i cant work as much and i feel so overwhelmed by the pregnancy and money. he does so much and i feel like i am doing so little. the past few days he freaked out on me bc he overdrafted his account, found out he has a paper to write and an exam all in the same day, he has to take me to my drs appt which is the same day his paper and exam are due, refused to eat anything when i offered it to him. and now hes saying that i dont emotionally support him, i am always yelling and being negative.i dont act like a "wifey" i just want to know how to emotionally support him

 
preggerashe

Asked by preggerashe at 12:42 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Men rarely give us specifics about what they are feeling. He told you that your yelling and negativity are getting to him so stop yelling and being negative. Don't complain to him about anything that can't be changed (what's the point) and really you shouldn't complain at all. Whining and complaining destroy relationships. Instead, encourage him, compliment him, let him know how much you appreciate him, be happy about this baby instead of stressed (seeing your joy over the arrival will change his mood a lot). If a problem or issue need to be discussed, then discuss it without yelling, whining or complaining.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 12:59 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • You are 36 weeks pregnant and worried about emotionally supporting HIM? There's something wrong with this relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • that sounds a little selfish anon :43.....if he's going through a stressful time as well he needs just as much support. that's sexist
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • he needs support as well without him i wouldnt have the roof over my head and the few nice things that we have. i want him to realize i appreciate him but he needs to realise that pregnancy isnt a joyride. a lot of these preg. books that i have read say that the father to be needs to drop everything and bow down to his preg. lady i dont want that.....i just want him to be happy and feel that what he does is appreciated
    preggerashe

    Answer by preggerashe at 12:50 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Maybe I am odd here but if my husband was telling me I wasn't emotionally supportive I would ask him to tell what he views as emotional support and go from there.

    Be honest with yourself? Are you naggy and negative? Maybe that's the first thing you need to change...when stress levels are high, negative Nancy attitudes only make matters worse.

    Yes, you are pregnant and I am sure you are tired but pregnancy doesn't inhibit ones ability to be supportive and to think of only ones self (as the first replier suggested) is selfish and juvenile.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 12:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • And to the first anon, being pregnant doesn't excuse a woman from her roll of standing by her man's side and supporting him. It also doesn't give you the right to yell and be negative all of the time and expect him to put up with it.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:00 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

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