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When will the tantrums stop????

My son is 20 months old and other than when he sleeps, he is constantly throwing fits about something or another. There is probably a grand total of an hour all day. It's been like this for 2 weeks and I'm at my wits end. I have a newborn daughter (he loves her and shows no jealousy towards her) and he is constantly waking her up with the tantrums. He doesn't want to eat, play anything. He's not sick or running a fever and he's completely healthy. I've tried to ignoring him and all he does is continue the tantrums. Any advice because I'm a SAHM and the last thing I want is to lose my cool because of his attitude lately.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • It got better for us around 3 yrs old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • It is a phase. If there is nothing wrong with him, I would start time outs. You will just have to hold firm on ignoring him. do they share the same bedroom? If not, send him to his. If so, put him somewhere where it won't effect the baby so much.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • OP: Not to mention he's constantly hitting me, banging his head against the wall and any hard surface he can.His pediatrician says its just a phase and it'll pass but this is getting ridiculous. As soon as DH gets home from work, I lock myself in the bathroom for a shower to have a few minutes of peace and quiet. He doesn't see it because DS starts acting considerably better when he's home. Is it me? I'm starting to feel like a bad parent.
    mysteriousdaze

    Answer by mysteriousdaze at 1:33 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Don't loose your cool for one thing.
    I think that it is normal for your child to act that way. Have you considered enlisting someone to help you out like your mom or your mother in law.
    I would give a strong verbal command and ask my old child to step out of the room while I make my youngest sleep. Show your emotions to your children. Ignoring him is pretending that nothing is going on.
    At 10 months a child already understand mommy is mad and I should listen to her.
    Remember is not wrong to tell your children how you feel. Others might disagree but this is my opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I get down on dd's level and tell her to look at me and then talk. Plus if she's so irate that she's just screaming and kicking, I sit her on time out until she mellows out. Nobody can listen while they're freaking out. I'm sure to put her on the floor because there's something about chairs that seem less punishing to them I swear. Like the way cats equate being higher up as superior and low as inferior. Kids sense that, too. I don't yell or spank and she really does well but half the issue is just being consistant and not letting them push your buttons. He's testing the water and it does get worse for a while. Keep his routine as normal as possible. When dd sees a lot of people for too many days or doesn't get her nap on time, she really doesn't do as well. hope that helps! He does it more to you because you're 1. mom and 2. around more. he knows what makes you crack better! you're not bad at all.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 1:42 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • OP:I'd love to enlist the help of someone but I'm completely alone in this venture... My mother lives a day's drive away and my MIL passed away when my DH was 17. We did just move closer to his family but I wouldn't trust any of them around my children considering all the animosity they have shown my husband and his father. Right now, neither of them have their own room because we moved into his aunt's house while we're looking for a house of our own. I agree on chairs being less punishing but as soon as I sit him down, he just gets up and runs off. He doesn't see alot of people because we don't go anywhere except in the backyard to play but lately that hasn't even been happening. I'm still trying to fix his routine because the 13 hour drive down here completely reset any prior schedule we had working for us. I've been trying and trying... it's just at that point where I think I'm going to lose my mind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • In that case, I would think maybe he actually needs to see more people and/or get involved in some activities. Not getting outside time could be a reason why he's using his energy negatively instead of positively through active play. I would suggest going to meetup.com and looking for a playgroup in your area. Churches and park districts also have activities to keep you guys moving and sane. Sounds like you guys are a little uprooted at this point and it makes sense that he would feel that too. but if he gets up, put him right back down. dd tried that for a while and we'd put her back and if she still got up, we stuck her in her crib for 5 min. It does take a while to get their schedules adjusted after a huge transition but if you can mimic his old routine as much as possible and just keep trying, it will settle down.leading himinto things like saying "finish your lunch and then we'll play outside" also is calming for toddlers
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 2:05 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • OP: My son does get plenty of chance's to play but refuses to. When I try to play with him (throwing a ball back and forth, playing with toy cars, etc) he does for maybe 5 minutes then its on to something else that is usually dangerous (trying to climb 4-5ft fences, shelves in the house) and I try to divert his attention back to something else. That starts a whole new tantrum. I have no way to take him to play group without a vehicle and since I live outside of the city, we don't have a nearby bus route. Not to mention, you try to explain to my husband why his itty-bitty wife is going out alone with two kids in New Orleans without her own vehicle or protection...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Never. They come in one form or another.
    CrazedMomof2

    Answer by CrazedMomof2 at 4:19 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

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