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Do you think that a trial separation helps or hurts a marriage?

Ya know how married couples will sometimes try a trial seperation when they are going through issues. Do you think they do any good? Would you do it? Have you done it? Love details :o)


Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think that depends on if the couple really wants to work it out.
    If both people are truly committed to their spouse and are going to put 110% into making it work then it CAN (doesn't mean it will) help.
    But if they are just sorta half assing it and trying to decide if they should split or not then i think it will probably only confirm their reasons for divorce.
    i've never been in that situation, so really, this is all my own personal theory.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I have done it and I think it helps but just know that usually people (especially men) think of it as a chance to see other people. If you are ok with that then do it. In my opinion, even seeing other people can help make a person realize they have something great already and don't need other people. It can make your relationship stronger.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • No I think it's a terrible idea. Why do a 'trial separation' or any kind of separation at all if you are trying to work out your marriage. What happens when one person decides to sleep with someone else or go on a date, then they get back together and the other finds out about it? I think if you are going to work on your marriage, you do it together.

    Answer by danielp at 2:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I do not think it works. Would never do it. If I seperate from my DH, it will be for good. If you can not fix your marital problems together. You will not fix them apart. You will just bring on more problems. My opinion.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:12 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I think that 9 out of 10 times it is a bad idea.

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:36 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I should add, its a bad idea if you want the marriage to work...

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:36 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • As a LAST ditch effort, i think it can be good. But, my "trial" seperation ended up to be a permenent seperation. I was just so happy when he was away from me that i could not go back.

    I did have friends that seperated for a whole year...10 years ago...and have worked through their problems & are doing great. They both realized that they only truly love each other. BUT, they did both dated other people during that year & you have to be aware that this may happen.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:17 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I separated from my hubby 3 years ago for about 4 months, from my own personal experience it was the best decision we made. We sought help and got it, we both understood that separation did not mean "sleep with others", even though we were not living together, we had family days where we would go out and do something with the kids as a family, we worked out a schedule for school transportation and over night stays for the kids. It was hard at the beginning but when we were ready to be together as a couple we both knew it was the right time, I feel like our marriage not perfect but it is alot stronger because of it, but we were also willing to work at our marriage and were still very much in love.

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 5:38 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I don't know, I've been through 3 divorces (I had terrible judgment in men when I was younger!) and in the first and third we did separate, actually I left them for a couple of months thinking that would make things better. I missed them and got back together with them, and both times it was just a waste of time because nothing changed so I finally left for good and divorced. So it didn't work for me, it just prolonged the inevitable.

    Answer by TarLion at 6:53 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I think the separation DH and I did saved our marriage. We were separated for a couple months, and in that time we got some help, we "dated" again. And in the end we decided that it wasn't what we wanted. We missed each other so much and loved each other dearly. We've been happier than ever for the last year. I agree that it depends on the couple though. I think a breather to step back was good for us, but its not for everyone. And you guys need to sit down and decide the terms of this separation. Are you truly trying to fix things? Dating other ppl? What do you hope to gain from it. Cuz not having that clear, can make it fall apart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Apr. 14, 2010