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What do I do about my 14 year old daughter sneaking out?

I have a 14 year old daughter who I have always thought of as the "perfect" child. She is a straight A student, never talks back, and very responsible. I have access to her Facebook, but I have never really had a reason to trust her, so I only go on every once in a while to check on her. Over the weekend I went into her inbox and found a conversation with a boy about all the times she has snuck out of our house and how she's never been caught. Also details about things she done with boys and some "sexting" she has done. This totally blew me away, as I would have bet a million dollars that she would never do anything like this. Her and I have what I thought was a great relationship. She lives with her dad part time, and I am scared to talk to him about this because he would use it against me in a way that he would think I am not being a good mother. I haven't yet confronted her on this because I'm not sure how. Ideas?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • maybe you should text message "busted" to her. She will get the point. I'd wait till she is standing close by though so you can lay it on her.

    Answer by shay1130 at 2:21 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • are you sure shehas really done these things? i mean..if you had NO idea then maybe shes just saying these things to the boy to make her seem "cool" if its TOTALLY out of her character to act this way then maybe shes just blowing smoke to these boys.

    Answer by mywonderyears at 2:27 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • take her house key away if she has one. then stay up one night that she sneaks out, then lock all the doors and windows after she leaves. I know that's kinda mean, but she'll have to knock on the door or something when she gets back

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 2:27 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Text sexing means sex. Becareful, don't listen to any people that bad mouth you, you sound like a wonderful mom. My daughter changed completely puberty I believe. This is something we need address, and be sure they understand the consequences.

    Be there for her and I would suggest you limit the texting. My daughter is not allowed to text right now, nor do much of anything else. She is ok with it for now. I found the tougher I get the better she gets, go figure. :) I was kind of strict but I let the guilt win, and that is exactly how she won. Not anymore, I don't play and I mean what I say. My daughter knows no boys, she is too young, education then so on.

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:28 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Never should you go by the thought that your child would never do something...I know it's too late now. But, I would confront her when she is at home and not thinking about it. Then, she would lose computer time and anything else I could think of until she earned back trust one iota at a time.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 2:30 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Be direct either way she is going to be mad do it the first day she comes to visit, she will get over it and hopefully learn. The truth hurts, and tell her that is unexceptable, and tell her what you expect from her.


    Answer by KFree907 at 2:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Talk to her, especially about birth control. Maybe even have her start on it if she hasn't already.
    As for the sneaking out, telling her you know will only curb it temporarily. Find out why and where she's going. Just talk to her.

    Answer by Christina2135 at 2:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I feel ya! We are going through this with my daughter and I'm looking for answers, too!

    Answer by ddbz at 9:18 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • if you need to figure out how to lock the windows so she can go out of them. Then put keyed deadbolts on the doors so that only those with the keys (YOU) can get out of the house at night.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:26 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I have a 20 yr old daughter. She was a pretty good teen. I had a couple of problems with her, nothing major. I stayed on her ass and in her business. I allowed her to have a myspace account because it gave me a inside look to her world and to her friends. I say you get hella interested in what she's doing and keep a real close eye on her. Kids are going to be kids, and nobody is perfect, but she's your kid...SO get real nosey, interested, and involved in her life NOW!!!! I would most definitely confront her with what you read & talk to her about it. Make her explain what's going on in her life to you. Try to talk to her in a peaceful manner, not screaming ( cause then she'll prob shut down, and not talk to you)...GOOD LUCK !

    Answer by Me2dznb at 2:44 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

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