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anyone resentful of their baby?


It is really sad that I ask such a terrible question, but I am having a hard time coming to terms with this pregnancy. One minute I am happy and the next I feel like I don't want to do it and that I just can't. Then that makes me feel bad. I will add that I have older kids, got pregnant on birth control, and the man that I am having this baby with is not my older kids dad. He and I had only been together for about 5 months at the time I conceived. Don't get me wrong, he is wonderful but I thought I was done having kids. I had just got my body back and I was really enjoying the freedom of choice that I have. Now I feel like I have lost all control & I am having a baby with a man that I never had the chance to make a formal decision to be with and a baby that I never decided I wanted. I feel like I'm drowning... I will have the baby & love it of course but my relationship is failing because of fears and frustration. Thoughts?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • Women have the right to choose for a reason.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • You did make the decision to have a baby because you had sex with this man. Birth control or not you are still taking a risk. This is why you fall in love before jumping inbetween the sheets with somebody. I thought this was common sense. Give the baby up for adoption.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • your emotions are going crazy. when I was pregnant, I cried at almost anything. Whenever my fiance' at the time (husband now) would go home, I would just cry and cry.
    AirForceWife14

    Answer by AirForceWife14 at 2:51 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Think positive, don't let the fustrating thoughts win you over.

    Everyone I am sure goes through it, but does not want to admit it. I was so over whelmed when I found out I was pregnant, my daughter was an infant and omg, I was pregnant. I felt wierd, in denial, I didn't understand why I felt that way. I love him with all my heart, and forgave my self a long time ago for the weird feelings I had. It is fear, and you need to realize you will be alright. Do what you want to do. Don't let anyone decide that for you. Good luck!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:51 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I totally understand. I have 4 boys and when I found out the youngest was another boy I felt like I didn't really want him. I just wanted a daughter so bad, especially knowing it was going to be our last baby. But now that he is here I couldn't imagine it any other way and I'm sure you will feel the same. I know what you mean about feeling bad even for thinking the way you do. I would never want my son to know I didn't always want him but you can't help how you feel. Just try to focus on the good things and let your fears fade away when you meet your precious baby.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I would have aborted. I am pro-choice and not religious.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I was crazy emotional when I was pregnant. I would cry all the time, i missed out on a planned vacation (got pregnant 3 months early) and I hated my husband. Of course i loved him, but I really, really hated him.

    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 2:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Thanks everyone...I suppose I just wanted to feel normal for a minute. I am certainly having the baby, I am in my fifth month, and I have no doubt that I will love him/her. Also, I am very much in love and was in love at the time of conception. I am simply looking for the means to forgive myself and get on with what I know is and should feel like a wonderful blessing. Pretending that I don't feel somethings (even if it is negative) doesn't help me move to a better place. Thanks for your thoughts...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I believe everything happens for a reason. This baby was supposed to come into your life for some reason or another. Baby's are a gift no matter what. If you don't feel like you can do this again, then give it up for adoption. I hope you can see the good in this and that itself can overcome the bad. This baby is a blessing whether you see it now, or it may take a while. It's ok that you feel this way, just try to focus on the good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I'm in the same exact position, except I'm at the end of my pregnancy. We had been dating about 4 months when I got pregnant. Really the best advice I can give is to roll with it, one day at a time. We continued to date, and I know that it adds a new element to the relationship, but tried to keep it as that - dating and developing the relationship. In our case it worked, and we're getting married in the fall. The marriage is based on us wanting to be married, NOT the baby. He's turned into an amazing father, and baby's not even here yet. It can be done! Getting pregnant on birth control, both our babies are meant to be here. Good luck!!
    jenwmuot

    Answer by jenwmuot at 8:08 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

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