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Does anyone else deal with a dh who dosent want you to be a sahm?

How do you deal with it. Im sick of hearing about women he knows who work and have kids and they can do it! I dont want to and I wont. Some twit even told him well if you leave her she will have to work. We arent financially struggling either.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I believe if a family is financially stable there is no reason for 2 people in the household to work. I think it's great, whether it's the mom or dad, that somebody stays home and is involved in getting homework done, homecooked meals and active in their childrens' activities. Of course you can work a monkey could work too, but it doesn't necessarily make it a good idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I would ask him would you rather a stranger raise your kids, and if your lucky the day care will have kids in their teaching him/her bad habits, make him a frozen dinner and let the laundry pile up. See if he wants you to work then.
    LOL he will hopefully get the hint, I have to work, enjoy your time at home, I would if I could. It is very hard.

    We are not perfect and if you want to be a SAHM. Forget, what they say, and continue doing what you do.

    Answer by KFree907 at 3:08 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • My hubby and I agreed before we got married that I would be a SAHM...and BTW.. i DO have a job, a 24/7/365 job.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:08 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Thats horrible, why would someone tell him that. What a turd. No, I am not going through that but my ex husband was the type that rather not work and run around doing whatever he wanted and pretended to be working but if I had even called off sick he was yelling at me about it. Notice I said EX husband,lol.
    It is up to me to stay home. My SO would rather that I stay home with our daughter but if I wanted to go back to work right now, he would support me in that too.
    Sorry youre going through that. WIsh I had some wonderful advice to offer to give to you to help make him change his attitude.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:09 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • She is probably jealous and wish she was in your shoes, sounds like she was just bragging... Not to mention she is probably paying an arm & a leg for daycare. Or could it be your dh is just saying that so you can say to yourself. Hmm? I wonder if I should go look foe a job but if you have kids it would not be worth it you'd be working to pay for daycare. Just stay home girl. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:15 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • DH said I'd be a SAHM with our kids and he joined the Army. It's been 2 years, one kid later and he's freakin out! I'm getting a part time job for when he's off "work" and he can deal with potty training our dd, feeding her and NOT ignoring her! Everytime I leave for my physical therapy (pinched nerve in my neck and 2 missing muscles due to carrying dd) I come back and he's UPSTAIRS LOOKING AT PORN!!!! She's down in the living room saying "will you play with me mommy!!??" If this continues, I'm leaving!!!! What kind of father leaves his kid so he can jack off!!! I'm furious about this rightnow!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Most men would prefer their wives not to work. It's wired into their brains to protect and provide for their families. Many men even feel insulted and imasculinated to have their wives work.

    I've always said you need to be careful who you marry and even more careful who you have children with. Whether you were going to be a working mom or a SAHM should have been decided before the engagement. I had a strong desire to be a SAHM and to BF my whole life and told my husband that on our first date. He agreed with my ideas of how to raise a family, other wise I wouldn't have stayed with him.

    Since men are logical creatures, do some research and get some stats on kids that go to daycare and make a logical case of all the reasons you should be the one raising your kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Maybe get a part time job...something that you really enjoy doing. OR take up a hobby that takes up time. Maybe if he sees that you are head into something & enjoying it, he will back off.

    You guys need to find common groud about this somewhere though. It can become a huge issue. Lots of husbands don't like that they are the only ones working. Some feel they work harder than their SAH wives. Some just want more moneyu to work with. Some men feel that it just isn't fare that the man HAS to be the bread winner in the family. I can understand that to a degree. If he feels it's unfare to be the only breadwinner, then y'all really need to get to a councelor.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:22 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • "Most men would prefer their wives not to work"

    I'm sorry, but that is the biggest crock i have ever heard.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:23 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I told mine I didn't care what he knows about other women, that I was going to do the most important job there was to the best of my ability. I stayed at home with them until they started school. It worked for me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:24 PM on Apr. 14, 2010