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Tantrums... how do I stop them?

My daughter will be 2 in less than a month. Her tantrums and fits are getting worse by the day. We have tried spanking her, calmly talking to her, putting her in time out.. I seem to feel like I have ran out of options. She is my first child and I do not want to make any mistakes that will cause her to hate me later in life. But this behavior has me and her father at each others throats constnatly and she just won't stop. Please give me answers.


Asked by hollywood-23 at 5:11 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (24)
  • Read raising our children, raising ourselves by Naomi Aldort or visit her site:

    What I did or do when my son gets upset..I let him get it out. I sit patiently and acknowledge he is upset "I know you are upset. I know you wanted to do that and are upset you can't". He usually cries and "throws a fit" then comes over and cuddles me and its over. I have done this since he was born pretty much. The more you do it and don't add anyjmore drama to their issues the less intense it will be.

    Children do not know how to express themselves appropriately at that age so they do what they can. Its a GOOD thing they are getting their feelings out. It isn't the best way of course but as they grow and are given room to express themselves the better able they will deal with the emotions and the less tantrums will happen. This is my experience. It also means you dont get all stressed too.


    Answer by keyaziz at 5:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Ignore her tantrum, I know it is easier said than done, but she is geting a reaction from you guys and this is what keeps her doing it. When she realizes her tantrums are not being effective she will stop, but mind you, it will take a while so sit tight and ignore.

    Answer by older at 5:15 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • i simply say "if you have to scream do it in your room, when you want to talk stop crying and come talk", and i put her in her room.

    Answer by cassie_m at 5:16 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • ignoring their feelings is actually a bad idea......allow her to scream if thats what she needs to do just give her a private place(her room) to do it. she needs to know she has a right to let you know how she is feeling but there are appropriate places and ways to do it.

    Answer by cassie_m at 5:18 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • just letting you know that my 3 tear old started throwing tantrums around 18 months and this worked FAST.

    Answer by cassie_m at 5:20 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Like the other ladies, I suggest you ignore her behavior. I've always told my kids that if that is how they are going to behave, then take it to their room and tell me all about it when they've finished. It used to drive my daughter crazy and still works on my son! I've also found if you "catch them being good" it can help. Praise her when she's being a good girl, and let her know that her good behavior makes you happy. Good luck!

    Answer by Robsmommy at 5:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • @Older- I have actually tried the ignoring her tactic. She seems to get louder and wants to break things if I do not pay attention to her.
    @Cassie_m- What if she doesn't stay in her room? Do we sit her in a chair or is that the same as time out and equally not s good?

    Answer by hollywood-23 at 5:26 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Your child isn't bad just expressing their feelings best way they know how for their age. My son is only 2 1/2 years old but hes very loving, caring and a good boy..however when he is upset he needs to express and I just let him know I am there and that it is OK for him to get his feelings out. Its over pretty quick these days - he just ends up having a cry and cuddling me.

    I really recommend you read Naomi's book to help you make more sense of it and also there are some good articles on her site to start with.

    Hope this helps.

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:27 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • @robsmommy- Thank you I need the luck! And the good behavior idea is a great one! If I give her rewards like an M&M when she's good is that bad?
    @keyaziz- The problem I have had with letting her get it out is her dad. He gets angry and just puts her in time out and it makes her upset more. I will talk to him about it tonight and maybe things will change in that deparment! Thank you!

    Answer by hollywood-23 at 5:29 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • @keyaziz- I will pick that book up! Thanks!

    Thank you everyone for your words and wisdom!!

    Answer by hollywood-23 at 5:30 PM on Apr. 14, 2010