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Question for moms who have big age gaps between children (like 5yrs or more)

And i don't mean 5 years from first to last child if you have more then two. I mean you have a 5yr old and an infant with no child in between (or whatever your age gap might be, that's just an example).

by the time i have my first child, DS2 (who is my stepson) will probably be around 6 years old. I didn't really want such a large age gap between children because i was not ever really close with my older brother when growing up (he's 7 years older then me, BUT i also have an older sister who is younger then he is).

What is your favorite thing about the age difference?
What is the most difficult thing?
Do you like the age gap?
Did you plan it that way?
What should i know that you wish someone would have told you before?

I wanted more like a 2-4 year age gap. But that can't happens sense DS2 is already almost 4 1/2 and i'm not even prego. lol
and i'm asking this again because i didn't get many replies last time.

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 8:15 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sorry, I accidentally posted it before I was done. Anyway, the age gap between my younger sister and I is part of why we get along so well. I always saw myself as a role model to her and went out of my way to help her. She was always with me and we were like sidekicks. On the flipside, my older sister who is just 1 year older and I had a lot of issues in adolescence b/c of feelings of jealousy and the fact that we were in h.s. together. We were def not close until adults. I have a 1 year old and plan on waiting at least 3-5 years for a second. I want my first to be in school and to have had the opportunity to have all my attention for those first few years. Having two kids under 3 is just insane to me. I joke that I will have another when the first can change a diaper!
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 2:09 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Hi im iliana..... i have the same thought... im actually planning baby number 2 now and my son is 18 months old... I personally have 2 brothers and 1 sister.. my oldest brother is 8 years older and my other brother and sister are twins and 6 years older than me... It was not so great for me the big gap between us.. i mean i didnt fit in the games or conversations. today im soon to be 20 and im starting to communicate and find something in common with my oldest brother ... the one that 8 years older. The other two siblings since they are twins they are mostly into each other and not me.... i personally am planning baby # 2 because i dont want my son to feel left out like me...... however it is different for everyone ... and ppl may not always agree w/ me... its all up to u.... good luck... hugs
    iliana90

    Answer by iliana90 at 8:23 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • My second child turned 5 3 weeks after the arrival of my third child. She was a great little helper.

    The most difficult thing was the "baby" adapting to not being the "baby" anymore.
    The best part was how helpful she was with her new baby brother. She constantly wanted a "job" to do to help out.
    I did NOT plan the age gap. It just worked out that way.
    The age gap worked out better than I expected. I thought the older kids would have no interest in playing with the baby, but as it turns out, the middle child spends as much time with the baby as she does he older brother who is very close to her in age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I have a 10 year old, a 7 year old and an almost 10 year old. That's a big gap! I think that although my oldest son was excited about a sibling when I had my middle son, too, it's completely different. My two older boys are old enough to appreciate their younger brother.
    What is your favorite thing about the age difference? the older boys will remember when Luke was a baby. They also were excited along with my husband and myself during the pregnancy. Tyler doesn't really remember when I was pregnant with Ryne since he was almost 3.
    What is the most difficult thing? puberty and teething at the same time!
    Do you like the age gap? yes
    Did you plan it that way? no
    What should I know that you wish someone would have told you before? Not anything really, just that it can be handy to have older siblings...like when you have to pee! LOL
    Mrs.B3

    Answer by Mrs.B3 at 9:16 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • My 13yr old is 5 yrs older than his middle brother. The only good thing about the gap is that he's able to babysit now. Otherwise it's miserable. My oldest feels left out since my 2 little ones are only 2 yrs apart. My oldest bullies them at times. I would never recommend an age gap of more than a couple years.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:17 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • My kids are 13, 11, and 5. I love the age gap between the older boys and my daughter. They have always wanted to help me out when she was a baby, and they stlil help her now. My 11 year old is teaching her how to skate, and he wants to teach her to ride her bike. The oldest used to let her sleep with him when she had nightmares. It's cute.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • sorry that was me, i accidentally clicked anon!
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 10:58 PM on Apr. 14, 2010