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"if you say that one more time, i'll..."

i am SICK of hearing DS say it. i dont even say it. i think he heard it from my mom. honestly, i'm sick of a lot of DS's actions lately. he's all about fighting, guns, etc.. the rest of that quote from him " I'll shoot you". yea. where did i go wrong?! (nah- nevermind. i KNOW where i went wrong!) but how can i stop it?!

i'm about to throw away all his toy guns (or store them away cuz they are water guns) and take away any type of war-based game.

i dont know if my getting upset of his actions is b/c of my mental issues, or if its b/c i really am sick of it. all he talks about/does is war-based games. every single second of every single day.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (16)
  • while i do believe that boys will be boys, i totally understand where you're coming from. i never allowed my kids to have toy weapons or violent games, movies, ect... but they still pick up sticks and pretend to shoot each other and sword fight lol. get him involved in something more positive and slowly weed out the violent stuff. if you take it all away at once, he'll probably rebel. how old is this spirited young fellow?


    Answer by bestmommyeber at 8:51 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • that is how my ds was after he was returned to me (his father kidnapped him, and withheld him for 4 months until DSS found him guilty of abuse/neglect/endangerment)... It took months (only been 14 months since I have gotten him back in my care). We work on quiet, kind words, and alternatives to threatening. I hunker down on his level so he does not feel threatened, and we talk. Believe it or not, at that age, they are perfectly capable of reasoning with you.
    Introduce him to fun things that revolve around gentle behaviors.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 8:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • My son had all that stuff, but, he never did that. Your son sounds like he may need a break from the stuff. Have you sat down and explained to him why it isn't nice to say that or do those things? I had my son "shooting" only squirrels with his play guns. He wasn't allowed to shoot or say he was going to shoot: People, birds, cars or anything not legal to hunt. LOL We sat down and explained the rules and why and let him know that they would all be taken away if he did.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 8:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • DS, at one point, was taught to just shoot trees. but now, he's shooting EVERYTHING. and when he gets mad, he'll try to shoot me. i'm thinking he's also on overload of the violence. the video games will be hard to take away since this isnt MY house, and the games are my siblings.. but i just explained to DS that we arent gonna be hitting, punching, kicking, stomping or ANYTHING like that anymore. and when he can play nicely, he can get his water guns back.

    what are some other activities that he can do? he's only 4. even without his toy stuff, he's still acting like he's in call of duty (the newest one)-- shooting my sibling, and getting "care packages". at this point, i'm not even letting him play with the kids at the park b/c he wants to play like that (shooting, punching, stomping) and i DONT want another kid to get hurt by him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • he plays with my siblings and his friends who are 14 years old- he hits them hard enough for THEM to say that it hurts!

    i CAN stop this process tho right? i mean, i dont want him to turn into a toddlers and tiara type thing, but i want to lower the violence from him!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Take him alone to the library and sit quietly and read, take him on a "nature" walk and point out cool things, play bubbles outside....find any calm activity and almost force him to slow down and focus on gentle quiet positive activities.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 9:03 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • we take walks daily, but he turns it into his army training-- he wants to run from the bad guys, or he's gotta run to the "safety room" i mean, its good for me- cuz i like to run and its exercize, but its always about war. we cant run for the fun of it. same with going to the parks- we do all the park stuff (slides, climbing the structures, etc), but its b/c we are in the army and we're in war. and bubbles are the "bad guys"- he has to punch them.

    if i suggest something else, he'll do it for a while, but then he gets bored with it and he somehow turns it into the war crap. even playdough! how can you turn playdough into a war-based activity?!

    pretty sure i've corrupted my son's mind!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • PS: i just wanted to tell you guys that i do appreciate the suggestions. I'll try to stay on top of him more, to calm him down when we do things that he wants to turn into war-based.

    any more suggestions are welcomed and appreciated too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • You didn't do anything. He is a normal boy to obsess over one thing. LOL My son was all about certain things that i had to curb. Just stay on him, rein him in everytime he strays toward war talk. Even go as far as saying: You and I are going to go do ____, while we are gone, we will not talk about war or ___(whatever he talks most about). Then, tell him if he can go the whole time without it, you will get him some dollar toy. When he goes without for that time, then, up the ante. Say, we will not talk about war(or whatever0 anymore, I do not like you talking about that stuff. It is not nice and I would like you to be nice always. If you can go without playing that or talking about it, I will put a star on the calender, when you get 7 stars, we can get a special dessert. If you save them and get a bunh more, you can get a special meal out. (you can substitute any treat).

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 9:17 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I really think you should try to curb the video games, I am guessing these are not games rated for kids. It is really different for an 11 year old to play a teen game and a 4 yr old to play or watch a teen game. It is just too mature for them, they don't have the same ability to tell the difference between real and pretend (especially when some of the games are so realistic looking) and they don't have the same ability to empathize with a victim- either in the game or people they hit/punch/kick in real life. He can learn these things with your help but it won't just occur to him on his own. I honestly think you should look to enroll your son in karate or something like that where he can have a good outlet for all that energy but also learn the respect and restraint. He would probably like it enough to give it a shot. But don't give up, you can definitely work with him on this and turn things around- it's great you want to.

    Answer by MaryMW at 9:20 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

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