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Taking in teenage sibling of our two girls we already adopted. Any tips?

We just adopted our two girls.... have known their sister for two years. she was in a foster home that was going to adopt her then reneged on it and said just legal guardian then reneged on that and said just foster and yes reneged on that and now they kicked her out. All this over five years. Good kid has good relationship with our girls.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Apr. 14, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (10)
  • And the question is?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Just wondering how that will affect the chemistry we have already built with our girls.
    daddy23

    Answer by daddy23 at 9:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Would you be willing to take her in? Is she a legal adult now or still technically a ward of the state? If she appears to be a good kid and has a good relationship with her sisters, maybe you can look into taking her in and possibly adopting her as well so they are legally recognized as siblings. I think it's bull hockey the the state split them up like that. I think it's awesome that you're thinking about her. Not many adoptive parents are open to their children having a relationship with their bio siblings (i have read on two cases where the older children have sued for visitation rights of their younger siblings after adoption, one of which actually won).
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 9:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • She is 13 and would be a foster case until adoption. There is a total of 5 siblings. Like all cases this one was so screwed up.
    daddy23

    Answer by daddy23 at 9:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • I don't have any advice because I have no experience in this area, but I was so excited to read your post! That is wonderful for your kids and their older sister!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:05 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • It has been a crazy roller coaster ride these past two years... All worth it of course... feel like I can write a book about our journey... a lot of people wondering why start again especially with a teenager thinking we already have what we wanted... but most don't realize that yes we start with selfish reasons but at some point it stops being about us and starts being about our kids and that happened very fast. They teach us so much. They are our hero's.
    daddy23

    Answer by daddy23 at 10:12 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • People don't just bail out of the adoption process for no reason. I would be worried about what is really going on with her and how it will effect your kids. It's a hard choice. My daughter has siblings that she knows too. From a distance they seem great but when talking to their mom I know there is problems, so I have to limit how much she gets to see them. If their mom died tomorrow i could not take them in because I know it would destroy this family.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Great point.... we have looked into the reasons why they changed their minds and from what I could see the foster mom has 4 other foster kids in her home along with her two kids.... she does foster care cause of the money and its sad but the system needs people like her.... the sibling shared a room with FM's daughter who had everything and was treated like a princess.... there are two types of foster parents those who do it for the kids those who do it to adopt and those who do it for the money. FM would complain about sibling not doing her laundry at her scheduled time and would threaten sibling with sending her back to the system. FM would tell us at visits she used that as a method to scare the sibling. Wash the floors , clean the bathroom, dust or else. JUST WRONG.
    daddy23

    Answer by daddy23 at 10:51 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • It would seem that this would only add to the positive chemistry between your daughters and yall .They love their sis and you are bringing them together ,sounds like yall have a big heart.Good luck and best wishes to all of you.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 11:17 PM on Apr. 14, 2010

  • Unfortunately some people do bail on the kids for selfish reasons. I've had a child placed with me for respite that when he was dropped of on his BIRTHDAY! that he was never coming back. Said all these horrible things about him but he was a great kid. He had some issues but nothing outrageous considering all the abuse he suffered. Found out they were the ones with the problems.

    If you want to make it work you can. Unless there was some type of abuse between the siblings I'd go for it.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 10:49 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

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