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Should I let my 3 year old son meet his half-brother?

This young man (18 years old) contacted me via Facebook. He found me through his father's family. My son and I have no contact with his father or the paternal family by the father's choice (he has a mental illness which his family blames me for- long story). The young man has limited contact with the father but does have a relationship with the father's family.

He lives is a town just 45 minutes away and is excited that he has a little brother. He seems nice. By the photos he sent the two boys look almost exactly alike. Anyway, we have been messaging for about 3 weeks and this young man would like to meet. I have messaged with his mom as well and she is agreeable. I just don't want my child to be hurt somehow.

What are the pros and cons as you see them? I have lots of confusion going on.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Apr. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Yes, let them meet. He needs to know his brother
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • i would let him meet him for sure. one day your son is going to grow up and he will be hurt that he does not have his father or any of his fathers family in his life. and then if he finds out he has a brother who wanted to be a part of his life, but could be because of you, he will be even more hurt. having a brother in his life who also has the same father might fill some of the void that he will have by not having his daddy. have you ever seen the show the locator? you cant find peace until you find all of the pieces.
    i really dont see any negatives unless of course this brother ends up being a negative influence on him, but you have no reason to think that now so ..
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • i think you should let them meet, this could poss be a very good thing for your son and hopefully they will stay in touch, think about how hurt your son will be in 10 yrs to find out he has a big brother that he didnt get to have all that time with that you knew about, maybe set up for you to meet this person first and make sure he seems like the type you would want to allow around your son, request that he not talk to the sperm donors family or sperm donor about you or your son and then go from there on him meeting your son
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:32 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • there is NO such thing as a half sibling. just because one parent is different doesn't make them any less brothers. they are BROTHERS.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • anon: 34: there is a flaw with your theory, it's called SCIENCE>
    Yes they are brothers, half-brothers. HALF>
    Alrighty then.

    I would let them meet OP, it would be nice for him to know he has someone else in his family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • I think it would be good for them to meet. Dad or no dad- they are still family.
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 12:42 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • My son just met his half sister last April. It's not your son's fault or this boy's fault that their father is the way he is.
    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 12:47 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • I'd say let them meet. Your child and his brother deserve a chance to bond. After all, it's the adult(s) that make desicions, these kids are just caught in the middle. My oldest has at least 4 sisters and 1 brother that the dad has nothing to do with and if I knew how to get ahold of them, I'd definately let them have a relationship. Unfortunately it wasn't until I was pregnant and alone that I found out about his other kids via a mutual aquaintance.
    yawningmommy

    Answer by yawningmommy at 2:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • how old is your son? it could/should be his decision, depending on his age. if he wants to meet, then by all means- let the boys meet. but if your DS is concerned about it, then let him come around on his own terms. maybe even set up just phone conversations first.

    i let DS meet his younger sister. he's 4 and it was her 3rd bday. they had no idea what was going on, but at least they know each other, even tho they dont see each other as brother/sister yet. i plan on getting in contact with DS's older brother's mom and hopefully meet with her soon. right now, its more playdate than anything else.. but if your son is older, it might be a way for him to identify with another person.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • lol wow. i didnt even comprehend the actual question. your DS is 3. i say let them meet, but dont really introduce them as brother's just yet. wait until your DS is more comfy with him.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

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