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Is it wrong to tell a man you love him when you know he doesn't feel the same?

I just want to say the words so bad. I know he doesn't feel the same but I just have this powerful urge to tell him anyway.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Apr. 15, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • Um, just one question... Y? Why would you waste those words on someone who does not feel the same about you.

    This kind of makes me gag a little.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • it's wrong for him to say them if he doesn't mean them...not wrong for you to say them if you feel it

    Answer by aliishott2 at 12:52 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Because it's how I feel. Because he's a good person. Because he's always there to talk or help me in any way he can. Because he cares enough about me to not lie to me about how he feels.Why is that so wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • I think he does love you

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • How do you know he doesn't feel the same way? Has he said that?

    And you asked a question. Don't get pissy when you get answers that aren't the ones you WANTED. Or edit your post to read "Please don't answer unless you are going to tell me what I want to hear".

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 2:44 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Here's the thing: if nothing at all, in any way, shape, or form, had been said about anyone's feelings, I'd tell you that as long as you don't expect him to reply in kind, there's nothing wrong with telling him. As long as you only want to say the words to get them off your chest, ease your mind, etc., and you expect nothing back, and you tell him that, it would be fine. mention that he cares about you enough to not lie to you about how he feels. This tells me that he's already informed you, somehow, that he doesn't have those kind of feelings for you? Is that right? If so, I'd say let it go. If he's told you already that he doesn't love you, it sounds to me like he already knows how you feel and was trying to be kind and let you know it wouldn't happen. Telling him after that would sound desperate and make him feel pressured, which might ruin your friendship.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:21 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • I wouldn't say there is any right or wrong in this situation. You just have to realize that, no matter how he feels about you, telling him will permanently change your relationship.

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 7:18 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • When i wanted to say those first words to my DH, it hought i was the only one feeling them. Well, i went on a 3 week trip to visit a friend in Cali, & he missed me so much that he called me & had to tell me he loved me & that he had been waiting for me to say it first. So, you might not be so aware, because guys are good at hiding feelings....but WHAT IF he feels the same way ? A lot of people keep their mouths shut because they don't want to look stupid, or get hurt. I say jump the gun. If you already carry those feelings in your heart, why not voice them? Just prepare yourself in case he doesn't say it back.

    "telling him will permanently change your relationship"

    This is true too. But all good relationships whent through some risk at some point. You can keep it the way it is, or take the next step & honestly, our lives are too short to be waiting for real love. I say go for it.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:40 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • My husband told me he loved me before I felt the same way. He says he knew I wasn't there yet, but it was an honest feeling on his part. I didn't say it back for several months, until I was sure - and because of that, he knew that when I did finally say it, it's what I was feeling.
    If you love him, it's fine to tell him. But make sure you don't waste a lot of time on a guy that you don't think will ever get to that point.

    Answer by missanc at 8:18 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • I should clarify. When I said it would permanently change your relationship that was not with an underlying implication that that would be a bad thing. Just that your relationship will not be the same after that. It may change it in a positive way or a negative way depending on his response.

    For some reason I assumed that this guy is just a close friend and not someone you are romantically involved with. IDK why I thought that. So my thinking was that if you tell this close friend that you love him when he thinks the relationship is platonic, the dynamics of your relationship are going to change. Probably not for the better.

    But, if you're romantically involved then I agree with samurai chica that all people who fall in love eventually take that risk and tell the other person how they feel. In that case, if the time is right, it's a risk you have to take.

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 9:11 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

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