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mother problems

ok this is going to be long... my mother has custody of my 2 nephews and my niece, their dad is in jail and their mom is too busy having her life to be bothered with the kids sad but her loss, anyhow the boys are in school but my niece is only 3 for a while i was watching her for my mom, but then i was running in to a problem, i am a stay at home mom, my niece cant be at my house because of my dog (shes allergic) well since i had to be at my moms watching her, i couldnt get things done at home that i need to get done, cleaning etc i told her i couldnt do it anymore but hubby andi would help her pay for daycare (which i dont feel is my respon. but i felt bad) well now that niece is in daycare my mom will call me at 510 when niece needs to be picked up at 530 and say "you need to pick her up today" i live more then 20 minutes away and this is the time i am getting my family dinner and such, yet im the bad guy (cont)

 
mommie2twogirls

Asked by mommie2twogirls at 12:57 AM on Apr. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (29 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If your mother has custody of the kids, is she not getting child support from your sister? She should be and if she isn't she should file for it. That money should be paying for daycare, not you.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:24 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • when i tell her no, i have tried telling her we need a set sch so i know when i need to pick her up, so i can pick her up when i pick up my nephews (and my kids) because going at 5-530 doesnt work for me, i explain to her i am not trying to be a bitch but i cant do it and need a set sch. she acts like because i am a stay at home that i have nothing better to do. I told her hubby and i could no longer afford to pay daycare everyother week and she makes me feel like a bitch for telling her that, i gave her plenty of notice that we wouldnt be able to do it anymore, her and my dad have 2 incomes and she makes the same as my dh and then my dads income on top of that so why the hell does she need our money??? we loaned her over 1000 dollars in march i borrowed 10 for gas and she went off about it better be used for gas! every sunday she tells not asks me to babysit im at the end of my rope! (continued)
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:01 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • i have tried telling her i need time with my family, last sunday i was gone from 8am until 5pm and she acted like a total brat didnt even say thank you for babysitting when she got home, because i didnt clean up after the kids, well sorry they were still playing and im babysitting for free pretty much against my will, my parents have done alot for me and she knows i have a hard time telling her no for this reason. i have tried talking to her, i have tried explaining my side of things, i have 3 kids full time in my house and my sd part time, i have things i need to take care of for my family, and i just dont know what to do, i am also a full time student but had to change my classes to online to meet her needs some one help how do i get it through to her??? im ready to move out of state just to make it stop, which will end my marriage because hubby wont leave without his dd
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:04 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • just say no. it's simple really. i have terrible inlaws and i used to worry about things like this. just take a deep breath, calm down and just say no, i can't do this anymore, i'm sorry. and be done with it. if she can't accept it then maybe it's time to take a break from her.
    flaggot13

    Answer by flaggot13 at 1:45 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Hey I would step back sit down and write out the word no practice what you are going to say then say it to her. Say no trust me in the end the only one who hurts with you not saying no is you and your family. She has to realize you have a family and their needs come first.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:01 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • She can get cs from the state AND daycare paid and FS and health insurance for all the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Your mother has custody so it's her responsibility, not yours, to take care of that girl. And really, she needs to get child support from the mother at least since the father is in jail so that is apparently a dead end and not jump on the PA bandwagon as was suggested.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • she has filed for cs but mom doesnt work, she has now started getting foodstamps and medicaid for them, just yesterday my husband and i got in a HUGE fight that led to me telling him to pack his stuff and get out, he called later in the evening begging to come home, of course i let him seeings how kicking him out wasnt because i wanted him to go, it was because i wanted to give him a wake up call, and even now knowing that my husband and i have some things to work on she expects me to be gone all day again tomorrow and then got bitchy because i said no ugh
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:21 AM on Apr. 18, 2010