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How do I get my daughter to stop trying to be the boss????????

My 9 year old who has a 5 yr old sister and a 3 yr old brother, is very bossy. I have addressed this numerous times and now it is to the point where she bosses her friends around and they get mad at her (duh, lol) however she is not seeing the connection between the behavior and the response from the behavior. Any insights on this????? Thanks sooo much

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shayt27

Asked by shayt27 at 12:32 PM on Apr. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (7)
  • She's not too big for a time out. It would actually be a little more embarrassing for her to go in the corner being that she's 9. I think it would be a funny way of putting her in her place.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 12:36 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • true I have always taken toys away I will try this because im tired of it and frustrated:(

    Thanks
    shayt27

    Answer by shayt27 at 12:39 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Try doing role-playing with her; you as your daughter, and your daughter as one of her friends.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:07 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • My 10 year old (just turned 10) is also very bossy. I just put her in her place each time and explain to her why she can't act that way. Each time, she behaves better for a little longer. Then, we do it again. Talk to her about things that she CAN be the boss of (like what to wear or how to fix her hair, etc . . . ) but not other people. Explain the difference between being a helpful big sister and a boss. I go more with instruction and less with punishment. She's trying to see how much power she has. Punishing her instead of explaining to her is just going to confuse her and make her act out more.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:28 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Tell her to stop being a douchey little SH!$ before she has no friends left to boss about. That worked for my son. Life's harsh man and people don't like douchebags. Better your daughter learn that now before she's in high school with no friends and people disliking her.
    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 2:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • SOunds like my 9 year old dd. She bosses around her 6 year old brother and 3 year old sister. They don't put up with it. They simpily tell her they won't do what she says. She HAS lost friends because of it and I tell her that's why.
    PoisonousBlonde

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 2:09 PM on Apr. 19, 2010

  • I often think it's a "live and learn" issue. I've tried to tell my 10 yr old dd the same thing but she still does it. When her friends/relatives get mad at her and don't want to play with her I just kind of go, "I told you not to act that way." I hope she'll get it eventually because talking to her about it certainly hasn't helped.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Apr. 23, 2010

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