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trouble with my marraige

Hi cafemom's; my name is cindy turner and i've been with my husband for 11 years and been married to him for nine years and lately we have been fighting over everything recently I made some friend's that live behind me and they have two dog's that my husband does not trust we have a 6 year old daughter and a four year old boy and I took them ove there to play and the dogs were nice and did not try to attack my kids my husband does'nt want me to hang out over there because he said that they are drug addicts. and that he does not trust them should I do what my husband says or should I do what I want to do please help me with this situation

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lolipop178689

Asked by lolipop178689 at 4:02 PM on Apr. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • talk to your husband about it..find out why he truely does not want you over there...you gave 2 diff. reasons..sit down and talk about it, before it blows up into something huge..give your point on why you want to, and have him give his on why he doesn't want you to...come to a happy medium..invite them over, as long as he's ok with it...if you do something that he doesn't want you to do you'll both be miserable fighting about it.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 4:09 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Are they drug addicts? If so then I would listen to your husband 100%. If the problem is more the dogs then maybe just see if he is ok with you having them over at your house, or meet them at a playground if they have kids, etc. Maybe there is a really good reason why your husband doesnt like them, and if there is then I think you should respect that, you would expect him to respect your opinion, especially if it had to do with your children wouldnt you? If he is being overly critical its still important for you to think about whether these friends are worth problems in your marriage.
    -LovingMamma-

    Answer by -LovingMamma- at 4:22 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • If they use drugs i dont know why you would be around them or even have your kids around them. Sometimes we do have to listen to our husband when we meet new friends and you like them alot we tend to irgornr the bad stuff they do. I think that you should talk with you husband or have them go over your hiuse if that will make you husband feel a lil bit better.. BUT like i said if they are drugs addicits you should stop being their firends and get your kids away.. you dont need to be around ppl like that but mostlikly your kids.. Anything happens that cops goes over thier house. you'll be going to jail and your kids will be talking away. if they find drugs in the house and you and your kids were there..
    good luck
    yamil519

    Answer by yamil519 at 4:24 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • I do not think your husband should be telling you who you can befriend, do you tell him who he can be friends with? turn it around for him and ask him how he would like it?
    older

    Answer by older at 4:29 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Cindy, you tell us nothing about these people or your husband's reasons for thinking they are drug addicts. With those gaps, it's pretty close to impossible to really offer advice.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:01 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Your husband does not have the right to tell you who you can be friends with, however he does have the right to protect his children and pick and choose who they are around.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:36 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • First I would have a discussion why does he think they are drug addicts and I would also say you are an adult who has the right to decide for yourself. Get informed and make up your own mind because my ex used to say that about some of the people I knew and he was right some of the time but wrong some of the time as well. Maybe you can join a play group to meet other friends but remember you are an adult you can decide who is to be your friends.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:25 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

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