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how do you get your three year old to not tell you NO a hundred times a day!

my son is going on three and has a habit of back-talking. i ask him to do something and he tells me "no mommy! i dont want to do it! you do it!" what the hay do i do about that?


Asked by 19_klayton at 4:35 PM on Apr. 15, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (8)
  • Choices are a good way to prevent a lot of it. "Do you want to pick up your cars first or your dinosaurs?" No response, then you choose.

    We use Love and Logic with our toddlers, and it works great. I ask my dd to pick something up. She doesn't do it, so I say, "Uh Oh, it is so sad you don't want to do what I asked." I carry her to her room and tell her I'll be back when she's sweet. When she has been quiet for a couple of minutes I go back in and say "I'm so happy to have my sweet girl back," and then we go back to what I asked her to do to start with and ask her to do it again. She does it or she goes back in her room and we try again in a few minutes. They very quickly realize that it's easier to just do it most of the time, but they will test it every once in a while to make sure you still enforce it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • You would beneft greatly from reading this article,

    "Allow your toddler to say "No."" -

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Try giving him choices. That's what works with my 3 and 1/2 yr old. Instead of saying "do you want a sandwich", I will ask him "do you want a sandwich or soup?" or "do you want to wear your blue sneakers or your black sneakers"...that type of thing.

    Answer by Kimposible at 4:55 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Um... my kids aren't allowed to tell me no. I mean, if I tell them to do something, they don't have a choice. If I tell them to make their bed, feed the dog, do their homework... they do it! Now, if I ask them if they *WANT* to do something... they can tell me yes, or NO THANK YOU. I like to give them options and give them a chance to make a choice for themselves, so I do that often. I will say, "Do you want to feed the dog or set the table"? Or "do you want to feed the dog now, or after your homework"? I think giving them choices from the start is a great thing! But, if I just tell them to do something, they do not have the option to tell me no. If you prefer that way... you just need to find a discipline that works for you and stick with it. Just don't forget to give your child a choice. and if he tells you to do something yourself, that he doesn't want to do it... don't give into that!

    Answer by LoveMyBlessings at 4:56 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Smack his hand and sternly say- YOU do NOT tell me NO. He'll stop.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • Heh heh...don't talk to him! **grin**

    Seriously, choices choices choices. There must always be a choice...either/or.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:03 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • the back of your hand it pretty persuasive

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Apr. 15, 2010

  • i have tried a few of the things you guys have suggested, but none of them work. i've tried time out, loosing privialges(such as television or toys), i've tried spanking,making him take a nap. idk but i haven't tried the love an logic thing yet that's a good idea thanks. i have done it when he hits me or other people, i tell him 'would you like it if i hit you?' and he usualy says "no". but i make him repeat what i say so i can make sure he understands me. but he sometimes i will tell him to do tsomething and he repeats it then just doesnt do it. or he acts like he doesnt hear me( which funny cause i've taught him sign language so he cant do that) but even so he still acts like he cant see my hands either. he will close his eyes so he cant "hear" me.he's really rambunciouse idk what to do

    Answer by 19_klayton at 7:05 PM on Apr. 15, 2010