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How do I tell my husband that I do not want to be with him anymore?

In January I left my husband after he put all of our (me and the kids) stuff on the porch. He has some issues that I believe come from drug use. After being in my new place we talked and I saw hope of us possibly getting back together. He would tell me how the reaon taht we are not together is because of me, its my fault things went down hill. What is a person to do when I kepy a dairy throughout the relationship in which I recorded everything? When I start feeling sorry for him, I read my diary. I do not know why it is so hard fr me to walk away, I really had hope!! Can someone give me advice wihout being scarcastic, I do not need that right now. Thanks

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 AM on Apr. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It's never easy to let go but think of your child. You want what is best for your child and going back to that kind of environment isn't good for you or the child. There is a book called How to Fall Out of Love if you like to read. It's a small book and easy read. See if your library has it. Sometimes we think of it as failure but it's not failure. It just wasn't meant to be. Find the person who appreciates you. Be happy. Let your child be happy. It's all good.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:35 PM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • He has a drug problem is that what your saying? If that is the case then of course he is gonna tell you everything is your fault. His drugs are more important to him then your children, you anything is to him. If he has to choose between you and the kids or the drugs i will tell you he will pick the drugs without a second thought. You don't want your children around someone that is not there self leave him and don't look back until he is 6-8 months clean and really getting the help he needs and you yourself see the change in him, if he can't do that for you and kids then he is not worth the time you have already put into the relationship. Nothing is your fault, for chirst sakes he took all you and the kids stuff and put it on the porch you don't kick your loved ones out on the street exspecilly your children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • He sounds manipulative and emotionally abusive. I had a boyfriend like this before I was married. I am sure it's harder when it's your husband and you have children with him, but I have had that feeling before. The best thing I can tell you is that it gets a lot better with time. It takes a while for his logic and his arguments to wear off on you. For me this was ten years ago and I still have moments when something he said to me pops up in my mind and I realize what total jerk this guy was. The way he is, it doesn't sound like there is any hope. He is denying responsibility entirely. Just get away and give yourself time to recover.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 5:19 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I wouldn't approach it as feeling sorry for him....rather that your in control of the situation because he treated you negatively. Not to place blame, but you are and should be responsible for your actions as well. Make sure there is nothing on your end that your not fixing, because then there is no excuses for him to blame you for things gone wrong. Women can be crazy sometimes and do and say crazy hurtful stuff.
    Second chances are always nice, so maybe give it a chance but on your terms. Give him one last chance to tell you how he feels about you (in a productive, relationship building way) so you can work through this mess.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • A part of marriage is helping one's spouse to overcome whatever issues he may have. It's in the "for better or worse" part of our vows. That doesn't mean you have to be trampled upon or abused, but you did commit to trying to help him. What you probably should have done was made his going into drug rehab a part of the bargain before you came back to try again. You need to think really hard about what needs to happen in your marriage in order for it to work. Then you need to choose a time when both of you are calm and you need to lay out what your boundaries are--what you can and cannot tolerate. Drug use would be high on my list of things I could not tolerate. If he is willing to get help to overcome his problem, you should be prepared with names and phone numbers of folks who can help. You can offer to go with him and stand beside him the whole way so long as he is willing to work on it. That's what real love does!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:19 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

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