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Is this a legitimate excuse for not going?

We are supposed to go visit my inlaws tomorrow. I don't mind going to visit but they live two hours away and my 6 month will cry most of the ride. She HATES being in the car, she will maybe sleep 15 minutes in between her screaming fits. I c an take crying but in the car it drives me crazy, it is getting to the point where it drives my 3 year old crazy too. I want my husband to go and take our 3 year old, but I feel like I am just using my baby as a cop out (which I am not I would much rather be with my whole family). We really wanted them to come here (we went there the last 2 times) and see our new house, but they keep making up excuses about the long drive. I feel like I am doing the same thing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Apr. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I'm sure your in laws want to see the baby too....

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I'll probably be the bad guy here but I think they should come to you all for a bit. I don't think it's such a hardship for those without the very young children to travel. Not to mention in your case they haven't seen your new house so it seems kind of perfect. They could spend time with the grandchildren and see the house. They really don't have the same reasons as you. I think subjecting the baby to a drive you know she will hate, and subjecting you, your husband and son to two hours of screaming is unnecessary and just awful when the grandparents could drive.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • Op here: The thing is when we go there, nobody is there half the time. It's so weird, his mom will just leave, his dad stays upstairs and watches tv and his brother stays in his room. We sit in their living room watching movies with our 3 year old because she is bored. It's like we are just going to say we went.


    Answer by lilysmom2607 at 10:34 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I clearly remember those screaming car rides! I would feel the same as you, especially if visiting them is basically driving 2 hours to sit and watch tv, something you could do at home! It's not like you said you don't want any of you to go, you told your husband to go. I agree with the poster who said it is easier for them to come see you, since they have no children. And if you made the trip twice already, I don't think it's fair for them to expect you to always be the one to make the trip.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I would just stay home then, that seems completely pointless. My MIL is like that she has no one to pack up into a car and we have 2 kids.

    Answer by kd2kds at 11:00 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • Just throwing something out there, I think your LO is getting carsick. Have you talked to the doctor about it? They do make baby draminine. I have gotten carsick all my life, it's horriable.

    Now to your question, I think the in-laws need to come to you. If your hubby wants to take the 3 year old then OK. It will give them some bonding time and you and the baby can have bonding time at home.

    It's not an excuse, it's a very legimate reason to stay home.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 11:20 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • Why can't your IL's come to you. It's easier for them.

    It's absolutely pointless for your family to pack up and drive there, esp with a baby that is screaming the whole way, to go, sit watch tv and be bored out of your mind. Pointless!

    Invite them to come to you and plan a nice day out, to the park, to a show, a nice picnic lunch, whatever.

    Seriously, having a baby and a 3 yo myself, I have so many better things to do with my time than to go on a trip where everyone in my family is bored and miserable. Life is too short for that! Spend your time doing things you WANT to do!

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:36 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • And btw: you don't need an excuse to do anything you don't want to, you are only obligated to your DH and your children.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:37 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • You should tell them what you told us about your baby and they should drive instead. Just tell them sorry but No I can't.

    Answer by gammie at 11:49 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

  • I can see your point in not wanting to go - it can be stressful enough to travel with young children as it is, and then to be left to entertain yourself at their house-- well that would feel like a useless and pointless trip to me. If it were me I would talk to hubby and tell him how you feel about the whole thing- the traveling, the lack of visiting with them.... I would also suggest to him that it if his family want to see the grandchildren THEY be the ones to drive to your house as it is too much stress and headache for you and the kids to travel to see them. Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:53 AM on Apr. 16, 2010

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